Our son died from a Heroin overdose this last September, I found him dead in his room, he was 26 years old, we did not know he had a Heroin issue, our hearts are just broken, I miss him so much, he was our third child of four, just having a hard dealing with it

My wife of 43 years died five weeks ago, very unexpected and sudden.  I realized I had two choices with my relationship with God and His son.  Move closer or move away.  Choose wisely.

Grief to me is a journey, with a beginning and and end.  It starts one step and then one day at a time.  It is like entering a long dark tunnel.  Once you enter you stumble on the obstacles on the floor and run into the walls because you cannot see the way out.  If you believe and have faith in God,…

Coming up on eight months since my son Jesse died. His birthday, the first Christmas without him. We have had a very hard winter so far. The summer and fall went by in a flash but this winter seems to drag on. I long for spring to see renewal.I find that the people in my life are saying his name less.Some seem worried that the depth of my grief is still immense.Almost as if I should be ''better'' by now. I am enormously resentful that I am supposed to mourn to conform to other peoples…

I have heard those questions a lot. Heck I've asked those same questions myself over, and over! I don't ask them anymore because I know the answers now. When my little boy burned in that car God was there. When my Ben was killed, and my daughter permanently injured, God was there. He was there all along. I just didn't know it because the pain, grief, and sorrow were so strong I couldn't hear or feel God's presence. I was so angry with God that I didn't want him near me. I didn't want God to…

I offer yet another impression of ‘normal’ grief and complicated grief. I approach all grief reactions as a complication in the life of the individual who seeks help with this human phenomenon. We travel life’s roadway and suddenly, around the bend, the bridge is out. A death, a life-threatening diagnosis, accident, layoff notice, or other traumatic change has painfully altered the course of our journey and requires a new way of looking at life. The process of grieving represents a…

I am giving up as of today. There is simply too much loss and too much sadness.

I haven't slept well for such a long time, and have been looking for a job for five years now and counting. I cannot seem to make things work, and more and more things are being taken away. There is no help from anywhere and I long to jut go home to my real home in Heaven. At least there I won't have to worry about unpaid bills, hurting, and disappointing others because I can't just snap out of this grief…

The love of my will have been gone to heaven almost 3 years ago. I am still amazed about the presence of his soul in my life.

Two days after Christmas, I was standing in the kitchen preparing breakfast. My 3 year old grandson came in to me and said "good morning gramma buttons" (that's what he calls me.) I said good morning baby, are you awake and having a good morning? He said yep. Gramma buttons, I was playing with my dogs. I said, you were? He said yep, Bailey and Shasta were…

Times have been pretty crazy and I haven't been on this website in months. Halfway through November my mother's absolutely beloved cousin Billy took his own life. I live in Boston but I went to Minnesota to spend time with his family and play music for his services. The next week my nana who has lived with me my entire life -who took care of me everyday until I started taking care of her everyday- passed away. I played music for her services too. Through all of this…

This Saturday will be the very first time in my life I will not have my mom singing Happy Birthday to me, telling me how much she loves me nor will there be the pure joy that emanated from every pore of her being.. There will be no more of her contagious laughter to brighten my 'special day'; there will be no closure..Each and every minute of each and every day I am overwhelmed with sadness, horrid pain,…

I remember that you're not there any more and it feels like my heart breaks all over again.

How to start ,Rose Marie my wife of 44years 6 days dies in the night in her sleep.And I found her in the morning a very bad experience,one I'm still trying to process.And I'm a retired Paramedic. Marie and I are among a small group of baby boomers with over a 44 year marriage and only 60 and 64 years of age,we started young and should of lasted a lot longer.I was lucky to be home with her for the last 30 years due to my retirement.

The last 17 days has been the longest and lonelys in my…

I had one week left of college, I was 17 and my boyfriend just turning 20 went to see his birth dad down in another town one Friday night. He didn't want to go that night, wanted to stay at his friends but i said he didn't see his real dad often so to go, he went and never saw him again. He was at a night club, went out for a cigarette even though he had stopped smoking and they found his body electrocuted in a power station 4 days later 12 miles away on the…

Today I had to talk my father into going to the ER to get checked out.  He had heart surgery in April that resulted in a bypass and a aortic valve replacement.   He has been swelling up so bad and his breathing is very labored.  When we get to the hospital and I automatically went into "Ms. Fixit" mode.  Long story short I finally got dad checked out and he is now hospitalized with pneumonia.  While we were waiting for his room and all he told me he has not been sleeping because he fears…

The strangest thing happened to me a few days ago. I went out for a walk on my own, a rare occurrence as I usually have my two little people with me. But this day I was alone. I strode off out of my gate and along the waterfront where I live. A moment or two passed when I realised how tall I seemed. I felt like I was walking on a cloud. Somehow I felt elevated. I wondered if it was simply because I wasn't pushing the buggy and looking down at the…

Christmas is over, and as of midnight tonight a New Year will begin. It's been strange around here this past year. The holidays were very different for me also this year. I am about to dip into some pretty deep self pity. I feel like I have lost my whole family. My oldest daughter is doing very well, but she's not as happy, and giddy like she used to be especially during the holidays. Is it because we are all older? When I was young I used to dream about the holidays with my own children.…

Well, everyone says time heals everything. Maybe so but today doesn't feel like it. Tomorrow will be the 3 year mark of my husband's death. I still feel like I have no control of anything. I have anxiety and depression still. I feel like I will never get over or through that either. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed and let life pass me by but I have my kids to take care of. So I have to be a big girl and deal with it. My work is stressing me out too. That just piles stuff on me with the…

My husband died on December 22nd after just 3 weeks of hospital care for cancer.  It went so fast I still can't process it all.  About every other day, I have sore sinuses from crying so much.  I see his last picture, I cry.  I see his lighter, I cry.  I see his drivers license, and yes I cry.  Then it seems I can move on a little.  It feels a bit like I just dove off the deep end, and the water is so deep I can't see the surface.  I think that when I reach the surface I will have learned to…

Mom,

I keep waking up hoping this is just a bad dream and that we will talk later in the day.

I know that your passing is real, but I do not want it to be.  I miss hearing your voice, the smell of your perfume and moisturizer, your silly posts on Facebook.  

I made it through Christmas as I know you would have wanted me to.  I hosted Christmas Eve at the house for Jerry's family, but I also went as far as inviting Tammy and Daddy.  I did not want them to be alone, as I…