Today I had to talk my father into going to the ER to get checked out.  He had heart surgery in April that resulted in a bypass and a aortic valve replacement.   He has been swelling up so bad and his breathing is very labored.  When we get to the hospital and I automatically went into "Ms. Fixit" mode.  Long story short I finally got dad checked out and he is now hospitalized with pneumonia.  While we were waiting for his room and all he told me he has not been sleeping because he fears that if he goes to sleep he will not wake up, like Momma less than a month ago.  I teared up and told Daddy that I have no intention of losing him, and I need him to fight with me so we can get him healthy and keep him that way. 

I get home after 8 hours of getting him into a room and settled in, and I had a distant relative speaking of quilting.  My mom had started a baby quilt over 20 years ago and just never got finished.  I spoke with my relative and she is going to finish the quilt as a gift to me from my Mom. 

The tears just started pouring from my eyes.  Not of being sad, or afraid.. but of gratitude for someone who is willing to help make one of mom's projects made with love to be completed.

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Hitting me

My daughter did MAID last Tuesday and I've been holding up okay.But just now the Christmas convoy (trucks all lit up that do an organized drive through our small town) went by and suddenly I just started crying, thinking how my girl won't be around to have these small moments. And not that she would have - she wasn't a huge Christmas or celebration person. So I don't know why I'm sitting here crying about it.Oh this is going to hurt a lot :-(See More
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