How to start ,Rose Marie my wife of 44years 6 days dies in the night in her sleep.And I found her in the morning a very bad experience,one I'm still trying to process.And I'm a retired Paramedic. Marie and I are among a small group of baby boomers with over a 44 year marriage and only 60 and 64 years of age,we started young and should of lasted a lot longer.I was lucky to be home with her for the last 30 years due to my retirement.
The last 17 days has been the longest and lonelys in my life, even with the family close,haven't been out of the house yet.I cry for her morning noon and night,an emotion that was very hard for me, and now it's something I can't stop.I've read every web site I can find about grieving,the steps what to expect the stats on survivors health problems,and at this point,I think I'm going though all the steps at once and I have pain in new places,and of course I want to join her as soon as possible,which is normal they say.I am glad for a site to vent and put down thoughts of my Rose.She was the most loving and strongest person in my life,she took care of me when I broke my back,leg,arm,head, when I had cancer,PTSSD, and many more problems,I wish I could have taken better care of her(guilt).Plus she lived outside in Alaska in a tent while building a log cabin and pregnant with our second.She rode back and fourth across the country in a RV for 8 years always looking for our next adventure together,what a gal.When we slowed down a little she wanted to have a family compound to keep our kids grand kids close which we did and she got to see her great grand son(6 months old)here at the family compound.Again thank you for the site.