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Comment by Richard on February 9, 2014 at 8:08am

To: David H and Gail - David and Gail, my wife too passed away weeks ago...please get in touch with a group such as www.griefshare.com and find a group to help you through these tough times.  Their program is so complimentary to also having an on-line group like this...You are stuck in what is known as grief paralysis, not knowing where to go next...get with them and find your direction and start your journey, please.

Comment by Mark on February 3, 2014 at 10:05pm

Gail, I'm sorry for your sadness.  I wish I knew what to say. I feel a certain hopelessness at times

possibly similar to you.  I thank god for my health - it is good as far as I know. I just wanted to comment to say that I feel for your sadness. Please don't give up. 

Comment by anne on February 3, 2014 at 8:05pm

Please don't give up. Grief is very difficult. Grief rips your heart out, stomps on it, and then you have to try to put it back together. Yes it sucks. Yes you have every reason to give up, but please don't. There will come a time when the light will shine again. I know this because I have buried both of my sons. One at the age of 12, and one at the age of 24. After I lost my little boy in a burning car accident I didn't believe I would ever see the light again. Then people intruded on our lives and turned them upside down, especially mine. When they locked me up, I thought I had killed my own child. I was sure that my life was over, and I was glad about that. I had had enough. Just when I thought it was ok to be alive, and then my son Ben was killed, and my daughter permanently injured. Something happened that night when I held that boy in my arms. I promised him that no one will interfere with me or our family while getting through this horrific grief. I kept that promise. Yes it was as painful as the first time. Yes I was crushed. Yes once again I just wanted to lay down and die. I didn't. I didn't because I couldn't. I didn't because I wouldn't. I almost gave up once. That was hell. I have to admit, fighting to come back was little easier. Why? Because I found my faith the second time around. I stopped being any religion and became personally connected with God. From your post I know you believe, so I just want you to know that yes God does love you! He also needs your help here. He may not give us what we want when we want it, but He will give us what we need when we need it. I tell you this because I was lost for such a long time. Peace to you

Comment by David H on January 31, 2014 at 8:50pm

I feel almost in the same boat.After my wife died my job keep me going,then my knee started to give me problems ,so I quit the job I had because I thought the knee would completly go out . Iam 67 so I draw social security and a military retirement You would think I would be on top of the world but Iam not.Its hard to find a identity or start a new life after 35 yrs of marriage.She was more or less in charge of everything and if I went up against her there was hell to pay We were in love nevertheless.Lets not dwell on that. She died May the 26 ,2012 just like that. Why did that happend?its a horrible twist of fate she dying and me free from whatever fate awaited me So I take sleeping pills with a shot wine or boubon to sleep I still haven,t figured what to do how to form my future I get up every day and diligently try to get out of the slump Iam in