[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in] by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always…

I feel like I became parylized when he died and I'm starting to have to feel again and I don't want to because it hurts too bad. I know I need to grieve but I just can't take it. I've been having to go through pictures all day for the memorial, I don't want to look back. I miss him too much. I've stayed in bed for four months now. I'm making myself plan a memorial/life celebration for him, he deserves that and I know I need to try to tell him goodbye. What I've done isn't mentally healthy.…

GABRIEL

I LOVE YOU GABRIEL

death runs in 3s janury 2013 monday 7th january the last few days all iv herd is death a freind of my dads died jimmy nbor died thn today in the obitchery another frined of my mum and dads brian who had the big c i feal like death is folloring me all over                                                                                              i hate death it just seams 1 funrall after a another funrall 

Another victum impact. My mother was stabbed to death april 11,1989. He knocked on her door said he had a sick child and was locked out of his apartment. he came in pulled a knife out my mother was heard saying take what you wantbut please don't hurt me. he slashed her face multiple defensive wounds. He stopped and ate had a cigarette. back then dna was real new so the case got shoved in a box. the law now saysall felonies must give a dna sample. They found the guy. For the next year…

IM PLEASED 2012 HAS GONE ALL THE BAD LOOK WIT IT I WOZ WONG GOT A CARL OFF MY ANTI ON THUSDAY TO SAY 1 OF MY DADS FREIND JIMMY HAD DIED SAW A OLD NBOR GEORGE WHO TOLD US GEORDIE HAD DIED I WOZ ONLY SPEAKING HIM 2 YESTERDAY MORNING AND HE WOZ OK THEN I WOZ PLEASED 2012 HAD GONE ONLY SAD BIT ABOT WOZ THE LAST TIME I SAW MY DAD ALIBE WOZ 2012 ON THE 2ND MARCH HE DIED THE 3RD OF MARCH AT 220AM

it does creep in that uh maby I didn,t do enough to keep her healthy,there was a lot of issues. She was in and out of the hosp so many times maby her son and me just grew immune to what was going on. I feel sad(she died may 26,2012) What went on the last time she was in the hosp was just a downward spirl into a trip to internity with no return. So I feel sad. I have mixed emotions,after all this wasn,t a picture perfect marriage (no kids except a boy form a former marriage. I would say my…

How do I begin to heal?  It's been about 4  months since Dad passed away and I still have a hard time talking about it.  I've tried telling my story on here for months but every time I start typing I break down.  I'm still trying to makes sense of things.   He passed away on September, 3^rd 2012 at 8:03 AM from lung cancer.  He went from diagnosis to death in a matter of a couple weeks.  My Dad was the healthiest person I've ever known.  By the time he…

Well today is the firt day of the new year. I'm in a strange place right now. I've gone through so many emotions this past year. I liked the good state of mind. I don't like the sad state of mind. I like feeling ok because I don't know what feeling wonderful is anymore. I've gone through so much that just when I think I've got things atleast somewhat figured out, the old haunts come back to bite me. I've worked so hard to treat my daughters better than ever so they'd know that they are just…

I can't believe that on January 27th, my beautiful mother will have been gone a year! It seems like forever ago since I saw and spoken with her, yet it feels like it just happened! I have been completely numb and dead inside in 2012 and been in a total fog..when will I ever feel alive again? I know I will never be over her but I want acceptance & forgiveness of myself and I don't know how to achieve that!

My wonderful son. I can't believe you have passed on. It was just this year we watched Whitney Houston's funeral together. She left behind a beautiful song that reminds me of the final moments of your life. I am very proud of you. I admire your strength and all that you accomplished. So, lift your head my son. You did very well. Rest in Paradise. Love you! Mom

 …

This year would've been my first one as a mom, but no I wasnt that lucky my baby was taken from me and I still havent gotten over it. Will I ever? Maybe if I'm ever lucky enough to once and for all become a mom. 

i no broken bones is easy to fix thy can heal but a loss of a loved 1 u can never fix 

The Christmas holiday has come and gone, but it was just not the same.  Nobody wanted to say anything because no one wanted to start the crying, but everyone knew it.  We always have everyone over to spend Christmas eve with my husbands parents, then they stay the night and spend Christmas day with us.  It was not until my father in law was talking to my brother in law on the phone that the crying started.  I was trying my hardest not to ruin the holidays for everyone, but he was right,…