I am so lost! I lost my husband just about 2 months ago to Melanoma cancer. We had been married for 24 years, he was my everything! He was my soul mate, best friend, we worked together, we were never apart, and we loved it that way! I miss all the million little cute things in a day, we never grew up, we were like kids playing, leaving cute notes, setting up cute little scenarios with our little beanie babies, just for a laugh! We made life fun together!!! We never were able to have kids, so…
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Added by Lauri on December 15, 2015 at 6:46pm —
5 Comments
I feel like there is so much to say but yet I have nothing to say. Another damn oxymoron, nothing new in this hell. I will type anyway.
I still can't believe Gary is physically gone. I say that in a more solemn way. Before, my mind nor my emotions could wrap itself around this concept. It was the nightmare. The bad dream you can't wake up from. Feeling like every part of my existence is living on some distant planet while at the same time in some bizzare, twilight zone my body was…
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Added by rachel_micele on December 12, 2015 at 2:00am —
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Added by Ladi B on December 11, 2015 at 2:57pm —
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Added by Ladi B on December 11, 2015 at 2:57pm —
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Today is my husband's birthday. It's the first without him. I can't stop crying and I just want to bury myself under my covers all day. His coworkers are having a lunch today in his memory and I'm okay with that. It's just really hard having the "first" things come around and I have to try to manage without him.
Added by Tina Russell on December 10, 2015 at 10:26am —
2 Comments
This amazing guy happens to me, a man who taught me to trust again. Who made me feel beautiful, special and worth loving and then he died!
I'm so angry. I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, or don’t have; he's not here.
People remind me to eat, sleep, and to take care of myself, but nothing…
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Added by Lauri Richards on December 10, 2015 at 10:00am —
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Added by dream moon JO B on December 6, 2015 at 3:57pm —
3 Comments
today after seeing my son, I went to the store with my husband to pick up a few things, I never go any more but I thought I would this time. it was the first time someone said merry Christmas to me. I felt my eyes tear up, my heart felt like it stopped. I could not even look her in the face and I ran out of the store. im not going out again till this crap is over. how can people say that when she looked at my face seen my swollen eyes, I never smile, just pain . please let these holidays…
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Added by kim on December 6, 2015 at 10:20am —
2 Comments
The point of finally seeing the end of college semester has come. And that is a huge relief as I was burnt after the first month. But it dawned on me. That relief is as if there is some prize at the end. But there is no prize. There will be more semesters to come and I'll still be in the same damn boat I've been in - Gary is physically gone and I don't know how to live without him here.
In only a handful of days it will be 9 months. A month ago…
Added by rachel_micele on December 6, 2015 at 1:30am —
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Today has been one of those days when all I have thought about is death and is it really the end, and as much has I've been trying to convince and talk myself in to believing there an afterlife I'd put money on the fact that there isn't, and that it's just some garbage to make us all feel better about losing a person we love , I have came to this conclusion purely because I know my Andrew and I know for sure that if he could in anyway see how much pain me and his children are in he would…
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Added by joanne on December 3, 2015 at 5:32pm —
4 Comments
im so sick and tired of this x mas shit all ready. it hurts so much to see it all and everyone talking about it . I just want it to be over. I stay in my room all the time so I don't have to see the lights, I don't go out so I don't have to see people so dam happy. my eyes fill up so fast, my tears still fall all the time. its not a happy time any more just so pain full, I wish it was over, I wish I was with shawn, I beg my son to please take me home, take me out of this hell I live…
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Added by kim on December 3, 2015 at 10:13am —
2 Comments
I stumbled upon this over the internet and found it somewhat
comforting. Since I believe I will see nancy again in the next
life, it was even better.
DEATH IS NOTHING AT ALL
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the…
Added by Mel Royer on December 2, 2015 at 12:25pm —
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All over Christmas lights are twinkling
Outward signs of cheer, family and love
Their lives full of happiness beaming,
and mine, mourning you this holiday.…
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Added by Mary Smith on December 1, 2015 at 8:49pm —
2 Comments
It's been 5 months now since my world fell apart, but for the last few weeks I thought I had started to turn a small corner, I stopped taking my sleeping tablets and diazapam and looked in the mirror and told myself it's time to get stronger, for my children's sake at least, and everyones been telling me how well and brave I have been, I've even been smiling and chatting to the customers at work, not like I used to, but I really have been trying , but today well... I don't know whats…
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Added by joanne on December 1, 2015 at 4:37pm —
4 Comments
Today for my Sunday afternoon outing I went to a graveyard. It must of the been the common thought as many were there, putting Christmas wreaths on their loved ones resting place and other momentos of love.
I drove past two of the grave sites of young people who passed in our small community, a young woman, K, born 1985 and a young man, B, of 1986. (They died within a year of each other). Both have beautiful markers, with care and love carved on them. The young man even has a mail…
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Added by Jesse's Mom on November 29, 2015 at 3:00pm —
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Please, please, please!! Why won't any one help me?? The 20th of this month is the one year anniversary of my Jamey being taken from us, and he still doesn't have a headstone. I have done everything I can but I admit that I can't do it alone. The one I have picked for him and made the non-refundable down payment is beautiful. It has a picture of him in cameo with a waterfall on black granite. Yes, it's expensive, but why would I give him some cheap thing that just says there's …
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Added by Toni Jones on November 28, 2015 at 9:52am —
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god please help me through another dam holiday. lights every where and I just cry, people shopping and I just cry. x mas shows on t v and again I just cry. how do I get through another x mas with out my son, to fee so alone so broken and empty. everyone says im so full of hate, I know I am but theres nothing I can do , its how I feel. everyone says to go out, im getting fed up with hearing it. my tears fall so easy, so fast. my heart is dead and will be forever. if they would just try…
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Added by kim on November 27, 2015 at 6:12pm —
6 Comments
I feel you here.
Are you really gone?
It's raining, kind of ironic, we buried you today.
Something pulls me, it's a tugging on my heart.
I feel you here,
are you really gone?
My fingers trail along the rose I hold, tears streak my face.
The sunlight breaks through the trees.
I feel you here,
are you really gone?
I sense your fingers intertwine with mine, warmth over comes my being.
A breeze whistles…
Added by Lauri Richards on November 27, 2015 at 10:19am —
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It is helpful to be able to talk about the feelings that live within me everyday without feeling like I'm the only one who is experiencing this pain.
I am at a phase in my life right now where I’m struggling with loneliness, heartache and all consuming numbness.
Every day, I feel a deep sense of disconnection from the world around me and the people I share it with. The mere fact that I am writing this in the small hours of the morning, deafened by the ear-splitting…
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Added by Lauri Richards on November 26, 2015 at 8:28pm —
2 Comments
Today marks 1 month since you left us, and things haven't got any easier!!! It still hurts everyday knowing that my love/best friend is gone...
Since you’ve been gone, my world has come to a halt. Food has lost its taste. I hear no rhythm in music. I see no beauty in nature. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. My heart feels like it’s being weighed down with a thousand stones.…
Added by Lauri Richards on November 24, 2015 at 6:08pm —
4 Comments
