All over Christmas lights are twinkling

Outward signs of cheer, family and love

Their lives full of happiness beaming,

and mine, mourning you this holiday.

My chest hollow, my heart broken,

Your loss, beyond what I could imagine.

Isolation and courtesies frozen,

hollow, broken and raw.

At twenty-five everything is ahead.

Friends, family, children, parents -  endless possibilities.

Then year by year the opportunities fall away,

leaving only souvenirs and memories.

Ghosts of Christmas past photos,

I want the clock to stop or speed ahead.

I want to be with those I've lost,

Either in the past or beyond the passing.

I've entered a dark bleak unholy place,

howling winds and bitter cold.

I'm trying to forge ahead,

but I can't leave you behind.