Cindy
  • Female
  • Fort Lawn, SC
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm a 34 year old CNA, from the south with a husband who is a part-time electrician and a full time bass player with a typical teenage daughter.
About my Loss:
Ok well, like I said I'm 34, both of my parents have died with the big C. That word is horrible to me. My dad passed when I was 20, my mom just six months ago. I am having a hard time. I cry alot sleep alot in between work and trying to take care of my family. I dream about them almost every night. Sometimes I'm happy when I wake up then others I cry because I woke up.

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At 8:39pm on April 21, 2016, Cindy said…
I haven't been on here in awhile. Just been going with the motions. Get up without thinking, get dressed go straight to the out the door to work, get off come home blocking it all out. Then, I have my days where bam it hits me, the two people that created me, raised me and loved me for so long aren't here. And the tears fall and I just shake my head in disbelief and keep moving. I use to understand this thing we call life, it was all starting to make sense. Then, they left me and now I just don't understand why we are brought into this world and are introduced to family who are supposed to love you and take care of you. And even when you get grown they still love you and you'll always be there baby, but no not me, I reach true adulthood and they're gone.
At 10:11pm on December 2, 2015, Mary Smith said…

Yes, and it has helped me just to put my thoughts down - in this anonymous format.  To know that I'm not alone on this path- that there are hundreds of others out there mourning for ones they have loved - their pain just as deep - in some weird way it is comforting.

At 6:47pm on December 2, 2015, Cindy said…
I do too. Thank you for your kindness. I think I am doing the right thing by joining the group.
At 6:30pm on December 2, 2015, Mary Smith said…

Cindy, I understand - I'm older but when I lost my dad in my 30's I cried every morning for six months - every morning.  I would pull myself together and go to work and wonder why people couldn't see I was shattered.  I lost my mother in my 40's and remember being sad, but nothing like the loss of my dad - which is odd, since I loved them both and was closer to my mom.  Being without both of them at 34 must be rough - but perhaps they are visiting you in your dreams to let you know they are still there - around you, loving you.  I do believe their spirits live on.

 
 
 

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