All Blog Posts (2,636)

I feel so guilty for the choice I made </3

I haven't been on much, it gets to be overwhelming along with everything else. I think about writing and I'm exhausted...but I need to. Just for a minute. I am tired of feeling this way everyday, all day. Waking up to it, going to bed with it. I want my life back. I miss Johrdan and I can't wrap my mind around it. I've come to a point where now I think of his cremation a lot. I'm realizing that it's having a larger impact on my life than I first thought. He was killed on Monday, June 20, 2011.… Continue

Added by Stephanie Stone-Merrick on August 28, 2011 at 12:41pm — 1 Comment

How can I help?

A poem I wrote a few months ago when a friend was at a loss how to help, unfortunately she is not in contact with me now, she couldn't watch me in pain. I know its hard to see someone you love in pain.

How can I help?

Sometimes the right words are hard to find

but its ok to listen, I don't mind

sometimes its hard to know what to do

but you know, its just good to be with you…

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Added by Babs on August 27, 2011 at 2:36pm — No Comments

My near death experience

I know that a lot of you have lost loved ones to tragedies like my experience nearly was and must have wondered how your loved ones felt if they knew they were going to die. I guess maybe everyones reactions may be different but felt to share my story and how I felt when I knew I was going to die. I hope it may help in some way.

When I was 11 I was out at sea with my dinghy when a massive freak wave came towards me, I wasn't sure what to do whether to try and ride it or try and get to…

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Added by Babs on August 27, 2011 at 11:09am — No Comments

HOw I am doing today

Today I fel the loss of you greatly. It is hard to imagine that you are not here. When I wake up, it takes a moment to realize I will never see you again. It's hard to know that I can not share my day and get your loving answers and support that I so looked forward to. Today, I felt more like joining you than ever. They say I may not go to the same place that you are, but the emptiness and lonliness that you left behind are almost too much to bear. I do not have many people I can share with my… Continue

Added by Ronna Doescher on August 27, 2011 at 3:12am — 1 Comment

A poem to the lost

The twilight of your years has come to soon for it is not even barely fall.

The life you have lived has had so much experience that god must have said you have done enough and brought you home

Although your day to day suffering and pain have gone the pain and emptiness yoiu leave behind is much more than you could have imagined.

You leave behind those who loved and cherished you, but I know that in some way you are watching over us, trying your best to comfort us especially in… Continue

Added by Ronna Doescher on August 27, 2011 at 3:00am — No Comments

Suffering suffering, go away, Come again another day

We are not here to suffer, we were not put here to suffer, so let the light shine in and shine on you and your families and your lives!   I believe our loved ones are in the sunshine, in the rain, in the air, and just basically in nature.  They have become a greater and more beautiful part of this world, part of us all!

Life is a continuous process...it never ends!

And Psssst...I'll let you in on a little secret!  They stop by in your dreams, speak to you, caress you, and out…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on August 26, 2011 at 7:00pm — No Comments

To My Grandma And Everyone Who Lost A love One....


If we could have a lifetime wish
A dream that would come true,
We'd pray to God with all our hearts
For yesterday and You.
A thousand words can't bring you back
We know because we've tried...
Neither will a thousand tears
We know because we've cried...
You left behind our broken hearts
And happy memories too...
But we never wanted memories
We only wanted You.

Added by Crystal (BluSkyy) on August 25, 2011 at 11:15pm — No Comments

This is for all the Mothers that lost there child...



I miss my Mommy oh so much

But I visit her each day

When she goes to sleep

On her pillows where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek

And whisper in her ear

Mommy don't be sad today

I'm your baby and I am here"



So you see my dear sweet one

Your children are okay

Your babies are here in My home

And this is where they'll stay

They'll wait for you with Me

Until your lessons are through

And on the day you come…

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Added by Crystal (BluSkyy) on August 25, 2011 at 11:11pm — No Comments

GOD SAID....

AND GOD SAID



I said, "God, I hurt."

And God said, "I know."



I said, "God, I cry a lot."

And God said, "That is why I gave you tears."



I said "God, I am so depressed."

And God said, "That is why I gave you Sunshine."



I said, "God, life is so hard."

And God said, "That is why I gave you loved…

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Added by Crystal (BluSkyy) on August 25, 2011 at 10:50pm — 1 Comment

First days of school have come and gone...

The very first day, yesterday, was normal. Not too bad, not the greatest. A few people noticed my tattoo and said how they were sorry about it, etc, and some friends saw it for the first time in person and just wordlessly gave my a hug. I went and saw one of his teachers, saw one of my teachers that I unexpectedly left last year a week before school was over and talked to her a bit, that was the only time that day that there was any danger of crying, but i made it through without a drop, and… Continue

Added by Kelly Husak on August 25, 2011 at 1:14am — 3 Comments

A poem for Jami

I live each day with you in my heart

and you're always on my mind

All of my happy thoughts of you

Help to lighten up the grind

I look at grief, then I look at you

and can see it's not so bad

This grief doesn't even measure up

to all the good times we had

I keep a big umbrella

It opens up like wings

They fly me to a far away place

Where I can see all things

I close my eyes and see a light

That makes me…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on August 24, 2011 at 1:39pm — No Comments

For Nicki

Our little boy Nicholas, sleeping beside mommy

Was just waking up to play

You couldn't wake your mommy up you said

On that very dreadful day

You were with her alone at home

A debt no child should have to pay

I wish that I could have been there

before they carried your mommy away

Every morning now when he gets up

he has the same words to say

"Dad, I know you miss mom, I miss her too,

but it will be okay!"

This…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on August 24, 2011 at 1:30pm — No Comments

My Loss of My daughter Becky

 I lost my daughter on August 8 2011. Becky had AML luekeima and also a flip 3 mutant cell in her cancer.She knew something was wrong in Oct 2009.She went to the doctors over and over again and they were always saying it was a virus.She went to cmmc in dec 17 of 2009 and asked to be admitted and they they did a totoal blood  diferential and there it was the cancer.Next morning Adam and the girls and I went to the hospital and got them checked out because of colds and fevers.I went up stairs… Continue

Added by Mariann Plourde on August 24, 2011 at 7:01am — No Comments

The lifeline of love

Thought I would share with you another poem I wrote,

The lifeline of love

We were knitted together as one

it was you that was my lifeline

until death came and took you away

and snapped right through our strong twine

Now I am falling so very fast

no lifeline with which to save me

I never thought the line would…

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Added by Babs on August 24, 2011 at 5:53am — 2 Comments

Pain

I had My Daddy Terry, for 25 years and for some reason I feel it was not long enough. I have so much anger, hurt, guilt, and pain built up. I know he went to heaven but it is still so ha

Added by Tracie Jane Knipp on August 24, 2011 at 1:27am — No Comments

♥ I Love And Miss You Grandma ♥

I wish heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, from which I'll never part. God has you in his arms I have you in my heart ♥

Added by Crystal (BluSkyy) on August 24, 2011 at 12:22am — 1 Comment

Come and see me and lay beside me!

Went to visit Jami's grave today.

It was the first time, so I gathered all of my courage and took it with me to face my fears. There really wasn't fear today, just a brief amount of nervousness.

When I got there I knelt down and brushed off some grass from her headstone. Moments later, without even thinking about it, I found myself lying beside the top of her small headstone, which is next to her vase above the buried urn.

After the dream from a couple of nights ago of her lying… Continue

Added by MIchael A Ballard on August 23, 2011 at 1:00pm — 2 Comments

Celebrate Life, Never Forget the loved ones

HI Everyone,  I know in grief there are moments of great light and moments of deep and dark despair. I know that I miss my best friend to the very ends of time, but like Michael said, it is not what she wanted for me. Before she died: she made me promise:1) I would walk a 5 K ovarian cancer walk- I will be registering for the one on October 16th, 2011. I'm terrified but I know it will make her proud.2) I promised her - to never ever forget her.3) I promised to talk to her, to come and visit her… Continue

Added by Anne Delina Johnson on August 22, 2011 at 9:38pm — No Comments

Move forward with your lives and express your love more than you thought you ever could!!

All You Need Is Love

The Beatles

Lennon/McCartney

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. 
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play
the game It's easy. 
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
 No one you can save that can't be saved. 
Nothing you can do but you can learn…
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Added by MIchael A Ballard on August 22, 2011 at 7:30pm — No Comments

The Rainwater brought my wife to me for a visit.......Just a dream??

I had a dream last night of my wife Jami.  She was lying beside me and she was all in white.

She said something about she was able to spend a little time with me.  Her face was very pure and vivid, and she was dressed in white (or just glowed in white).  

Some of her words she spoke of were that she will always love Nicki and me and everything will be alright.

Holding her,kissing her and smelling her perfume were also obvious during and after the dream.

I remember…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on August 22, 2011 at 3:00pm — No Comments

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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