well I have come to the point "have to move on and deal with the grieving moments as they come up .Iam almost sick of trying to live alone. Which brings up good point I have been scared of trying anything new . I realize in a small way or big way in order to break out in the cruel world I need to get out there,it goes against my internal feelings .

We remember our loved ones who who have left us as I do,however unless I allow myself to sink into a depressing slump there has to be a…

I have yet to come to terms with my wifes death She died May 26 2012 in the afternoon around 5pm. She died becasue I removed the life support she was on. Yea you know the patient was so messed up from Doctors trying new things on her (heart valves,pace maker They screwed up or maby they were trying to save her life and her condition went down hill(she was already on dialysis) made  it even worse.She lived her life in her own way.Its ironic she said see you on the other side,I was so neg…

I remebered something about my wife and it left me just as fast as I remember it. Its all natural ,I know having flashbacks cann,t be helped ,it gets to be mental torment(torture) I pretend to be getting thru this but Iam not . I was walking to another building as part of my job and the thought hit me Iam really out there alone shes not coming back,insisting I take care of my health issues. nagging me asking for a massage ,feeding me ,going out and eating(rolls stuffed with meat at the…