Comment

Comment by irwin Dresner on September 11, 2012 at 4:34pm

Hi Sharon,  Thanks for the comments.   I live in New York and I flown down to florida where my daughters live.  we to disney world.  I been here over 3 weeks and my grief and depression is the worse that i had ever suffered.   it seems that when my wife died i died with her.  combat was not as bad.  i been living by myself for almost 3 years and the lonliness is killing me.  I just write poems and continue to write more of my book.  I also attended a number of grief mettings but it did not help.    I feel bad for you on your loss.   I keep a diary.   you can see a number of my poems if you google  -----IRWIN DRESNER-POET.   Some are sad, some are about my country.

Since my wife died my neibors do not even say hello.  I keep busy helping my veterans groups and doing other things.   I race walk about 3 miles everyday but that had not helped.   Have a good week and thanks.   Irwin Dresner

 

Comment by Sharon Barfield Traylor on September 10, 2012 at 9:34am

Hi David & Irwin, I am so sorry to hear about your wife's passing. Always remember you were a great husband & friend to her, a gift you both will share in eternity. Grief has many stages that unfortunately you will experience & need to experience in order to heal, just as if you had a physical injury. Check out this link, http://www.griefshare.org/ for information on where meetings are held. I lived with both of my parents until their death. I held my mother's hand as she died. I'm an only child with only one son now in my family.  I attended some of these meetings and they were helpful, however, it was too much for me at the time.  I purchased the workbook that is offered and work on it a little bit.  You can attend these meetings anytime you'd like & will find other people who are grieving, too.  These meetings will provide support for you through these challenging grieving times.  Another thing that may help you is to keep a gratitude journal. Once a week, just write a few things that you are grateful for in your life. Research shows that this helps, too.  You can Google "Positive Thinking" for some helpful information, too.  Whenever you remember a memory of your wife that is sad for you, replace it with all of the positive memories you have with her.  When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, replace them with happy memories, happy thoughts and/or the blessings you have listed in your gratitude journal, things that make you happy.  Do things that make you happy, even if it's getting your favorite candy bar every now and then.  I hope these suggestions will be of some help for you.  David & Irwin, please feel free to write to me.  Having someone to talk to helps a lot.  Take Care Gentlemen, Sharon

Comment by irwin Dresner on September 7, 2012 at 4:38pm

Hi David,  I can understand what you are going thru.   My wife passed away Oct, 5,2009 and my grief has only grown more severe.  I am a korea war veteran and believe me that my deep grief is worse that my combat days.  My wifes lung cancer was treated and almost gone but she hurt her leg and had to be put in the hospital.  Her leg was fractured and after 3 days in the hospital for the leg she died.   It seems that  grief is burned into me.   I been by myself for almost 3 years and I flew to Florida from Ny to visit my children who live down there.   However my grief followed me.   I pray that things go better for you.  Believe me when I say that I know how you feel.    Feel free to write.    I rwin