everyday the pain gets worse, to lose my only child my beautiful son shawn. my heart hurts so bad and to breathe even gets harder. tears fall so easy, shawn you are and will always be my life, my love. will I ever get passed this NO. can I go on without you  NO. you are the best thing that ever happened to me, without you its just not worth it any more. I know when I cry and talk to you , you can hear me. I know you can feel me. but for me not to feel you hear you see you its  killing me. I…

to my darling son shawn, everyday seems to get harder and harder to go on with out you. I cant remember what its like to sleep a full night, to not cry every day. to pray to go with you. how do I go on? how do I watch others smiling, laughing, shawn I need you so bad,i wear your things to bed I smell them all night long, ill never ever wash them, I need to know you have not left me alone. my heart feels like its slowly stopping, dear god I miss my baby, those beautiful big brown eyes that…

everyday I watch people, going on with there lives, my family and friends to.but I just cant with out you.  I don't understand how my sisters can do this.  my heart is so broken and they know it. once a week if im lucky they will call  and say hows everything going then they say ok bye. its like a 2 min call. I have begged them to talk about you, begged them to hear me out. but they just don't have time for me. and that hurts but nothing hurts as much as loseing you. I feel so broken so…

my beautiful son how I miss you with all my heart. my tears never stop. I want so bad to hear you, to hold you. why wont he take me to you, I pray every night to go with you. my pain is so deep , with out you  theres nothing left. it hurts to breathe, i wait  every day for you to come home, to phone me to call me  MOM . oh shawn please please help me. I cant go on with out you I just cant, I don't want to.  night god bless my son,  you are always the love of my life , we will be together…

as I read every ones letters, I sit here and cry, my heart is so broken with out my son ( shawn ) and I can feel your broken hearts to. we ask why? and never get answer, we ask to go to, and again no answer. how do we go on with them, that will never happen.  to be in this unbearable pain and have our friends leave us forever, our family hurt us even more. no one can see or under stand  or hear our crys. its been 10 months for me and it feels like yesterday. I want so bad to be with shawn…

its so hard to go on with out my son, everyday is so empty and lonely. I cant think, sleep  and some times its hard to breath. I know in my heart he can hear me, but  I would give any thing to hear him again. to feel him. I pray hes with my mom and happy. I keep telling him to come home now, oh god  I know he has healed his beautiful heart, now send him back to me. please god don't let nov 5 come please, I cant do this, 10 months with out him is way to long, im dieing in side, my tears could…

today is ten months since my son went away. so much pain, and tears. I miss him more then life and with I was with him. still empty and lonely and so very lost with out my shawn. I beg him every day to come to me, let me hear mom again, let me hear I love you again. I ask how much longer I have to live with out him, to look into those big beautiful brown  eyes and those melting dimples. to see his smile and hear his voice, I want so much to bring him home to me, or take my hand and take me…