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how can it be 3 years today, it feels like yesterday. my tears still fall everyday. I love and miss you so very much. I need you shawn I always have. im so dead inside, so empty and dark. my life is over, im waiting for you to come get me, please hurry I cant go on much longer. always and forever mom
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For Shawn's angelversary:
Hugs Kim. I don't know how we have made it this far...but somehow I guess here we still are. Visiting two son graves is more than I think I can handle. No one really understands this pain unless one is living this nightmarish existence.
My son, Jesse was part of my very soul, my being. Taylor, the infant son, I wonder if he was wondering why Mommy did not come to him, as after he was born he was sick and hospitalized. Unfortunately, I was so wiped out from having two babies very close together, I could not get there to be present as much as I wanted to.
The firstborn son, Jesse, I sent to the doctor for his heath problems. It was during that route he was killed. My last born son, I missed the cue, and he died from SIDS. I feel like the Universe has mocked me. I tried my best to follow the Golden Rule, and aspired to best intentions to others. As did my son Jesse.
I am not sure of anything anymore, other than I do know that life continues on, even if this present life sucks.
Sending gentle thoughts and may you feel the love of your son, Shawn wrap your heart in warmth.
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