how can it be 3 years on Saturday? it feels like yesterday when you went away. my beautiful son shawn. I miss you so bad . you are and always will be the love of my life forever. my depression is getting worse, I pray each night to die, to hold you forever. to hear your voice and to hear  MOM I LOVE YOU  again.  I tried to be with you but it did not work. I wont give up shawn, im coming home with you. my life is over the day you went away. im ready ,  I don't want to suffer any more, I don't want to cry every day and night anymore. I want to remember to be happy, because I cant remember  laughing , smiling, just tears and unbearable pain, i love you and miss you with all my heart, and im asking you to please help me, take my hand shawn take me home with you     forever mom