Amanda Ab's Blog – March 2012 Archive (2)

Reality

For the past 11 months, I have been avoiding all that reminds me of my "new" reality. Avoiding, outings, family reunions, friends, events etc. Because that reality check up, hurts to much, creates anxiety, loneliness, frustration, anger, hate, you name it. The reality that I cannot change, the reality that my husband or daddy are no longer here with me.

However, there are times that I cannot control reality from punching me in the stomach. obstacles that trigger reality without me…

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Added by Amanda Ab on March 27, 2012 at 11:42am — No Comments

NOT A PICTURE PERFECT...

so this is where I get the chance to write all of my feelings. and i am going to do just that. For the past 10 months, since my husband's passing, I have been stucked in this house literally 24/7 besides going to work and buying necessities. Yesterday, there was a small get together for my husband's aunt, so after so much thinking, thinking, I decided to go along with My son... I knew that my husband would have wanted us to go, so that kept me moving forward with the plan. I took the step…

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Added by Amanda Ab on March 4, 2012 at 3:59pm — No Comments

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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