Tired of This Aching Pain

my life has been upside down since my husband was killed.. i try each day to fight against all emotions and try to find ways to cope, but my pain inside my heart does not seem to get better but worsen with time. i try to avoid all reunions or meeting with family because i just want to avoid people asking me how I am and rather stay indoors all the time.  i just think about my husband and cant believe or accept that he is really gone. i am literrally avoiding all subject with regards to my grief. i just cant accept my reality because it hurts too much.. and to know that the person responsible for his death continues to be at large, is just a lot more to add to my head and more frustrating, stressful, upsetting...

i have no motivation, feel tired all the time and feel helpless if my emotions, sadness, crying will ever be better?

why was life suppose to turn out this way?

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Comment by Lisa S. on February 27, 2012 at 1:27am

hi amanda,i feel your pain.the killers of my loved ones are still on the loose too.so frustrating.peter was only 34 and christy was only 31.so sudden and shocking.i never liked it when people would say,"well,i guess it just wasnt meant to be."i think in life there is just alot of random chaos and violence.i dont think death and fate are choosy in wich way they happen to go,or who they happen to fall on.so as horrible as it is,loss will eventually touch everyones life sooner or later.we arnt alone in that it has happened to us now.boy,that was cheerie,sorry.

Comment by MIchael A Ballard on February 25, 2012 at 10:28am
Hi Amanda, I' m sorry you're having a hard time. I think you are a brave person and you can do this. Personally, all of my wife's Doctors are stiil overmedicating some of their patients and unfortunately more families will be going thru my ordeal thanks to them. I know it is hard, but we have to make our lives happier. Just think of how you would want your husband to be if something happened to you. That seems to help my situation, feelings and all. Playing good upbeat music while housecleaning is a great outlet too. Please contact me anytime. You are not alone. At least, I am here. Peace to you Michael

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