my life has been upside down since my husband was killed.. i try each day to fight against all emotions and try to find ways to cope, but my pain inside my heart does not seem to get better but worsen with time. i try to avoid all reunions or meeting with family because i just want to avoid people asking me how I am and rather stay indoors all the time.  i just think about my husband and cant believe or accept that he is really gone. i am literrally avoiding all subject with regards to my grief. i just cant accept my reality because it hurts too much.. and to know that the person responsible for his death continues to be at large, is just a lot more to add to my head and more frustrating, stressful, upsetting...

i have no motivation, feel tired all the time and feel helpless if my emotions, sadness, crying will ever be better?

why was life suppose to turn out this way?