On that very night of April 28, 2011 when my husband, Danny, was killed, we both shared a "I love you". That was the very last time I heard him say "I Love You" to me. Since that night, my life was turned upside down. Loosing my husband who was just 29 years old, and had a full life ahead of him and a family to support  caused a huge loss and trauma in my life. When I myself lost my Daddy, I said to my husband, that I never wished this on anyone. Every person deserves to have a Dad on their lives!. Little did I know that  a year later, my son will be left without a Dad as well.

Being a "One" parent to my 2 year old son was just not in my thoughts ever!.  And have realized that being a One Parent is a great challenge to live on top of my broken heart for loosing the love of my life to murder.

Since loosing Danny, I have endured so many obstacles with trying to accept that he is no longer here and that I am now on my own supporting my son both financially and emotionally. From taking him to the doctors, work, caring for him, and recently trying to explain to him why he can't hug his dad and only kiss his pictures, its just devastating!!!!. I try with all my strenght to be strong for him and not give up. He has already lost his Daddy and just dont want him to loose me. But as other widows can relate, raising children on our own and dealing with the loss of a spouse is so damn hard at times. And can say that I have just broken down many times.

Last night, 1 year 44 days later, as I was putting my son to bed, he says to me "mom I love you". I cant explain this feeling. I cried tears but of joy somehow. I felt that despite all that i have been through, and rollercoster of emotions, i have somehow been doing ok as a mother, because hearing him say "I Love You", was just priceless!!. It gave me some sort of push to keep going.

Thank You for Reading,

Amanda