Some people see a light, feel a breeze, a touch, smell flowers, I see a pair of Cardinals.  I am of Irish ancestry and birds have also been thought of as messengers of death in my family. Just sayin....

At 10 pm, on July 2nd this year, (before my sister died,) there was a Female Cardinal sitting on my…

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When my dearest Adrian died in July I saw a golden light when I got home has anyone seen something like this
----Aileen

I'm afraid to truly enjoy life because when I do the Lord reminds by taking another beautiful flower from my Garden of life.

It seems as though he keeps taking the ones I'm closest to. So I guess you can say I'm nervous and constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. That being said, it doesn't matter because you're never prepared  and with each loss it's completely different type of grief  I'm beside myself and have never felt more alone. My Mom was my very first best…

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From no where came the tears. The pain of my loss, flashbacks, loneliness and deep sadness. I don't cry everyday but the tears and sadness is random. When it does hit me I cry for days. Then I may be good for days before it hits again. At this point I don't know what is worse, crying daily or the random bouts of depression and tears? I have never hurt so bad in my life. It has been 3 1/2 month since my loss and people don't want to hear about my loss anymore. They avoid you. So so sad.

I don't understand any of this any more. I raised four children on my own. Now twoof them are gone I don't why i haven't drowned in tears. then it is how I think of nobody but myself. I know I have to move forward. Thats easior said then done. my boyfriend moved out,  He had cancer surgery 6 weeks after derek died.  The doctor has given me alot of pills to help cope with all this. Its a tool not a cure. to bad it isn't a magic cure and take all the hurt away. I honestly think I have lost my…

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God in my hoping, there in my dreaming..God in my watching, God in my waiting..God in my laughing, there in my weeping..God in my hurting, God in my healing

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Why did GOD have this fate for me? Why did GOD leave me to be alone? Did he think I did not need anybody and that I can make it on my own? Why? I feel so lost and distraught that I can't function? I know its been seven months but thats seven extremely hurtful months and those hurful months will turn into hurtful years. So why would GOD want me to hurt so long? Was it something I did? Was it something I did not appreciate? I don't know! I am 26 years old and scared as hell as what life has to…

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November is lung cancer awareness month. The colors are white or pearl.

I contacted a Medium the other day through email. He only wanted the whole name and nothing more, and he gave me so much information and helped me somewhat with 'closure.' What has kept me back, is I didn't know if mom forgave me for the things that I did, and I didn't know if she knew that I loved her! She forgives me and knows that I loved her regardless of the big 'ups and downs' that we had and told me not to beat myself up for the past, we make mistakes and learn from them! I know it…

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