Some people see a light, feel a breeze, a touch, smell flowers, I see a pair of Cardinals.  I am of Irish ancestry and birds have also been thought of as messengers of death in my family. Just sayin....

At 10 pm, on July 2nd this year, (before my sister died,) there was a Female Cardinal sitting on my clothesline.  10pm.  Birds aren't out at night like this. I thought it was strange, it stayed there for quite a some time, while my dog was out in my yard. It only flew away when I shut off the porch light.  My Mom is elderly, with respiratory issues, and a thought did cross my mind, that she might pass.  My Husband is in kidney failure, but I took the fact that the bird was a female cardinal as a sign that he would be okay.  I got a call from my niece-in-law at 3:30am that she and my nephew were on their way to my sister Jayne's house, that she had died.  I immediately thought of the bird. I called my brother-in-law, I was crying. We don't live in the same state, I couldn't go to be with my 3 nephews, her sons.  My elderly mother heard me crying, so I told her Jayne had died.  Hours later, 6am, exactly on July 3d, I was letting my dog out into the yard again. This time sitting on my Chiminea, (an outdoor fire place Jayne gave me as a gift,) was the male and female cardinal. They stayed the whole time the dog was outside and didn't fly away even when he was very near to them.  Then it occurred to me that it was July 3d, which could have been my sisters 36th wedding anniversary to her first husband,  Jack, who had died in a motorcycle accident when she was 22. yrs old.  He was her first love.  So, I felt that she was sending me a message that she was together with Jack again.  Now it around 9am, once again letting the dog out into the yard. It was a bit windy. The breeze moved a branch to reveal an outdoor thermometer that my sister had bought for my brother and took from his apartment and hung at my house after my brother died in 2009.  I never really looked at the thermometer, it was hidden by the branch.  The center of the thermometer has a picture of a cardinal on it.

I feel blessed to have received 3 messages, gifts from Jayne. One, that she was okay, but leaving me, the second that she was together again with Jack, and lastly that she was with our brother Jim as well.  Oh, and we have never had Cardinals in our yard before, but the pair are still around. Today it snowed for the first time this season, and there they were together on a bare branch, sitting so peacefully as the snow swirled around them.  I am missing my sister tremendously tonight. We loved the winter. I keep wanting to hear her voice to pick up the phone and talk.  It would be, Hey ML, how's the storm down there?  Then she'd tell me how beautiful it was in NH, how busy her work had been, (she worked in a deli.)  "ML, you'd think people thought they'd never be able to shop again, just a little snow, but everyone had to come shop for bologna. who eats bologna???"  We would laugh.  Then we'd talk about the election. She would be loving today. I am left missing her.  My sister died from SUDEP. Sudden unexplained death in an Epileptic. No seizure, just died in her sleep. November is Epilepsy Awareness Month. I believe she is at peace, I need to find peace for me, I want it for her sons, for my Mom. Love and miss you Jayne, Jim, Jack and Dad.