Thanks for that bluebird .Those sentimental movies always seem to get to me, they sneak up on me every time lol. I guess I just never allowed myself a chance to stop and realize that. And I do apologize for not visiting as frequently as I would like to. I walk around 'trying' to think positive and yet my wife may think I'm having too much fun without her. But just for your information i, and everyone here, I really do read & pay attention to emails from others here. And I may be "one of…

I never thought I'd ever feel so empty in my life yet even when doing something so out-of-character . I sometimes even try gorging myself full of junk food late at night and watching horror movies, when I'm not even hungry nor even interested in the movie I still can't fill that void. It's like whatever I do isn't going to change the world so why should I bother, this is just my inner feelings so don't worry-I still respect others-just to let everyone know my wife would still find a way to…

I need to discipline myself from watching certain movies , like the movie "What dreams may come" with Robin Williams , which reminds me how I'm either expecting my wife to come around the corner or it reminds me to stay away from female & couples. I do this not out of being mean but to keep from getting burned again, although when I lost my wife it was well known that it wasn't her fault-she expired from is well known as the 'drinking disease'. And I know I am…

Just can't let go . After 16 years of my wife's death i still can't let go, is that crazy or what ? My wife, even though she may have been in pain, she would still persevere just to make a baby laugh or giggle . She never would allow herself to utter one negative word against someone else. Every time I allow myself to 'let go' and relax , maybe have a little fun , I find myself stopping and remembering the fun and all the good times we used to have together. I just can't allow myself to…