I keep thinking that soon I'll wake up from this nightmare, but 'when' ?! The thing is, when my wife was around, I lost her when she was only 35, I used to be known for lighting up the moods when things got tense. I used to be known for making others laugh when things began to get too serious,especially when I'd look over at her to see a look of confusion or sadness. I used to be the one who came up with all the answers, making others laugh in order for others to get their minds off their troubles. But now this depression is smothering me, it really has a death grip on me, and I keep smelling a peculiar fragrance of ? coming from inside of me. It's the same fragrance that surrounded my wife before she was called home with the Lord. I keep sensing that my days are numbered no matter 'how positive' I try to fake it !