I never thought I'd ever feel so empty in my life yet even when doing something so out-of-character . I sometimes even try gorging myself full of junk food late at night and watching horror movies, when I'm not even hungry nor even interested in the movie I still can't fill that void. It's like whatever I do isn't going to change the world so why should I bother, this is just my inner feelings so don't worry-I still respect others-just to let everyone know my wife would still find a way to let me know she didn't appreciate my disrespecting anyone. I just read my email before I logged on here and I never realized that there really are others who understand where I'm coming from. I realized this after reading emails from, among others, persons like Bluebird, and Lost & Alone, and I'm sure there are others. However, If I were to articulate my feelings to my older brother, who professes to be both agnostic & a bit atheist, he'd tell me "get over it already" .  In one of the emails I read tonight I noticed that 'someone' was really listening when I mentioned that my wife was my only true love, the only person that I ever loved, besides my mom . Maybe that's why I have such a time holding onto her memory. Like someone mentioned in their email , she just seemed to have been my soul mate. I mentioned to my wife when we first met , "when we met, she ruined me for all other women " . I'll stay longer next time, it's just that at time my time is a little tight . Now I know the meaning of being in a room full of others and still feeling all alone .