I want to say I am grateful for the comments I have been getting, and that I really do appreciate them. I have tried to reply a few times and I just kind of get stuck.  I have been reading other peoples posts and its "nice" to read that at least some others out there understand some of the things that I feel, not that I WANT other people to feel this way.. but it's a small comfort. I want to respond to some of the posts, and be involved in the threads, but I have a hard time offering…

I guess this blog may seem out of order or confusing.. but I was here before. I was trying to be stronger than I am. I was trying to seize moment and embrace this community, and be supportive but it wasn't working out. So I took some time away and now I am back again...

Tonight I am feeling volatile, and bitter, hurt, angry, lost, depressed, hopeless and these are not typical "Mandy" feelings.  I have always been an optimist, always believed in looking forward and…