Tonight I took my daughter Isabella, my nephew Jake, My friend Tiff and her three daughters to see Brave in the Movie Theater.  I was glad to see a Disney Movie where the princess was her own hero and didn't need a prince to fix all her problems or a kiss to save her life. 

I have to admit it made me cry a bit with the mother/daughter story, but I thought this was a princess Julianna would have really loved!! Even something like a Disney movie reminds me of her, and her vibrant little self.  Isabella liked it but true to form she just smiled and nodded and quietly muttered that she had fun.. Julianna would have been chatting excitedly and then go home to talk about it to all of her friends, and post on facebook about it. 

I never believed in ghosts.. and I still don't in the traditional sense but I do see "ghosts" so often now, all the times when I sit and imagine what it would be like if she were still here. When I look at her sisters face and seek her features,  when I look through old photos desperately seeking for a specific moment. When I imagine her growing up, or talking to me, or ANY of it., and then it all fades away.. I feel so very haunted...

I gave away some of Julianna's clothes today. I was going to save them all for Isabella but I feel a little concerned that if I save ALL of them and never get Bella any new (just for her) clothes, that she will feel that I am trying to fit her into a Julianna's mold.. like I expect her to replace parts of Julie or that she is not independently important to me.. but that is not true. I Love her so much and she has such a different style then Julie had.  Julie loved to wear black slacks and a lot of purple, teal, green, soft pinks with just a little frill to them.. Bella wears such vibrant BRIGHT colors, neons, leg warmers, sparkles, color, color, COLOR, haha, she dresses so loud for being so quiet. :)  Love her oh so much. 

I guess today was a good day in a "put everything off till tomorrow" sort of way. My thoughts are a little disorganized tonight, but it is what it is.. and it's time for bed.. tomorrow I start a 5 day shift-string at work.. "yay".