I pray everyday you can see your garden, it looks so pretty. with the solar lights to bring you to me. I need my son so much and miss him with all my heart. I want more than anything to be with you, life with out you is no life, im so dead inside, empty and very lonely. my tears still fall all the time, I miss  you shawn  I beg god every night to take me to you, soon I will hold you again, and never let you go.  love you always and forever    mom

to even try to go on without my son, will never ever happen, the life as I knew it is over, ill never be the same  person, my tears never stop, my heart hurts more and more everyday. I pray he hears me, and comes get me, because that's all I want is to die. to end this pain, this loneliness, emptiness in my heart. I know hes here watching over me, trying so hard to help me, but nothing will help me anymore. im ready im not afraid. if there is a god take me now, save a child take me please…