to even try to go on without my son, will never ever happen, the life as I knew it is over, ill never be the same  person, my tears never stop, my heart hurts more and more everyday. I pray he hears me, and comes get me, because that's all I want is to die. to end this pain, this loneliness, emptiness in my heart. I know hes here watching over me, trying so hard to help me, but nothing will help me anymore. im ready im not afraid. if there is a god take me now, save a child take me please take me. let me feel and be happy again, I cant remember being happy, I forget how to smile. I want to be with the love of my life my son my baby.  shawn please come for me, don't leave me here please, I love you always and forever  mom