Since my mom died in May, I haven't been to church except maybe two weeks after she died and then the pain of her death was still so fresh (it still is, as it'll be 3 months since she died next Thursday), I couldn't stay for the whole service. I packed up my things and left. I felt completely alone, yet I did not want to be around anyone. I felt that if I stayed I would've just started bawling and wouldn't be able to stop.

Today, was the first time I've been to church in months and…

I HAD SOMEONE TRYING TO CONTACT ME FROM GHANA.HER NAME IS KATE KWAME. I SAW HER ONLINE LAST NIGHT.I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. I AM GRIEVEING FOR MY WIFE AND THESE PEOPLE DO THIS. 

Since my wife past I cannot sleep. I lay in bed like she is still next to me. I miss her kiss goodnight and the one before she left for work.  I am broken inside and have no clue in how to repair me. As I wrote before I do this alone. Yes I am angry at people. I would never make false promises because I am a man of my word. She made me so happy. I wish I dream about her so I could see her. So many people fail me. So I guess I know there true colors. Its really sucks to find out this way…

I lost my wife Jodi on June 16th. At the time it was like any night but change quickly. Before I knew it I was back home alone cleaning up stuff left by the EMT`S. It then hit me. I was like this is a dream but my heart knew.I did not know I could cry like that. Then it began the start  answers that I could not be given truly and people just asking how over and over. I could not hear there words and did not know what to do next.I knew my wife wishes because we talk about it here and there.…

I have only been on this site for a few days. And I realize that I am an anonymous person to all of you. You are to me as well. Over time I hope to get to know many of you better, to find out your stories, who you lost, and why you loved them so much.

I don't want to be just a random name, or that kid who misses his mama. I want you to know who I am. The first and most important thing to know is that no one calls me Brett. My nickname is "Oatmeal." I have been called Oatmeal…

CAN DEATH BE CONQUERED?

Losing a loved one has forced me to reconsider some of my religious beliefs. I grew up in the Catholic Church. I attended Sunday School, and sometimes Mass. I stopped just shortly before my confirmation. I was about 13 years old, I had developed severe depression, and I didn't agree with the politics of the Catholic church. I looked at the bible very literally, and I didn't understand how it fit in with today's society. I was more interested in science, and I didn't see how God could exist.…

I'm a mamas boy. There was a time when I was embarrassed to say that. Not anymore. I would scream it from the mountain tops, especially if I thought that my mom could hear me. I was her caretaker. I couldn't stand the idea of my mom spending her last days (years) in assisted living. I wanted her to die in her own home, and I wanted to give something back to the woman who not only gave me life, but also loved me unconditionally until her last day on earth. She died on Christmas Eve, 2015. And…

NOTE: My blogs are not posted with the intention of promoting any organization or religion. The goal of these blogs are to provide the same comfort I received for the death of a loved one. Enjoy.

Death is a fearsome enemy. We fight it with all our might. We may try to deny it when it strikes someone dear to us. Or, in the exuberance of youth,…

Here is a reality check I was faced with very recently. I had to take vitamins after my doctors persistent advice and I got a few extra pounds. Nothing much but enough to bring bullying from a very unlikely source. A friend that recently separated, a guy who insisted to say every single time he saw me that I was FAT. Even though most my friends would say the complete opposite. That I look healthier. In fact was so many times I heard from the same friend (also my neighbour) that I came to the…

if i cry im worid ill cry forevr i will coz of all crap iv goin on

evn loss i hav had

mom bean ill

lif bean shit…

June.27th of this year my Mom passed away. My husband and I were in the process of moving and I was unable to get to the Care Facility to say goodbye. I was blocked in by the 26 ft. moving truck we had rented. My husband said to take a taxi, but I knew in my heart I wouldn't make it there. I blame my husband for this. The angle the moving truck had to be in, he would not have been able to park it like that again.

My so called family didn't notify me that she had passed. My husband had…

June.27th of this year my Mom passed away. My husband and I were in the process of moving and I was unable to get to the Care Facility to say goodbye. I was blocked in by the 26 ft. moving truck we had rented. My husband said to take a taxi, but I knew in my heart I wouldn't make it there. I blame my husband for this. The angle the moving truck had to be in, he would not have been able to park it like that again.

My so called family didn't notify me that she had passed. My husband had…

Home for the summer. In a house that has never felt less like home. This is the first time I've really been HOME since I lost Mom. I was here at Thanksgiving, but there were so many people around that I didn't have any time to process anything. Today though it's just been me and the dog. The dog Mom said she didn't want but not so secretly adored, of course. And I hate it. Not the dog; she's lovely. But the house. The house I grew up in. The house my mom called home. The house I've always…

It´s not easy to trade old patterns for new ones. THere is something to be said about comfort zone, and how we resort to that when anything is outside what we know or we think it should go. Takes so much effort to make where we are remotelly OK, that it´s peaceful achieved only by slowing down the thinking and allowing ourselves just to be. But all in all...how do we make a shift into the new things with the calm and peace we need? HEALING takes time, and there is so much effort that will…