Bethany
  • Female
  • Russian Federation
Share on Facebook MySpace

Bethany's Friends

  • Nora
  • Jackie cooke
  • Billy Jo Colt

Bethany's Groups

Gifts Received

Gift

Bethany has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Bethany's Page

Profile Information

About Me:
From Alabama, living in Moscow (yes, Russia).
About my Loss:
On June 19, 2016, my family and I made the decision to remove my mom from life support, which had been keeping her "alive" for two days. I lost my mom, my best friend, and a huge piece of myself. And I'm not handling it at all well.

Bethany's Blog

Moving on?

I haven't posted here in awhile. The crushing grief that overwhelmed me for so long after my mom died has lifted into more of a grief fog. But some issues within my family have arisen over the past few days, and I'm having a really hard time. And my question is: Why the hell is everyone in such a hurry to "move on?" What is so terrible about being sad, about missing someone? Why is it "normal" to go on with your life like nothing happened, to forget about the past and keep moving forward?…

Continue

Posted on March 3, 2019 at 12:23pm — 1 Comment

Drowning...

I can't do this anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me. But I feel like I'm lost. Like I'm drowning again. I thought things were getting better, that I was finally learning to handle my emotions, that I was coping. But now I'm right back where I was a year ago. I just want to curl up in a corner somewhere and cry myself to sleep. Over and over again. Nothing's changed, nothing's happened. And that's the worst part, knowing that it's coming from within. That I'm doing this to myself. I just… Continue

Posted on August 13, 2017 at 11:37am — 4 Comments

Home Alone

Home for the summer. In a house that has never felt less like home. This is the first time I've really been HOME since I lost Mom. I was here at Thanksgiving, but there were so many people around that I didn't have any time to process anything. Today though it's just been me and the dog. The dog Mom said she didn't want but not so secretly adored, of course. And I hate it. Not the dog; she's lovely. But the house. The house I grew up in. The house my mom called home. The house I've always…

Continue

Posted on July 4, 2017 at 8:03pm

One down...

Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.

Posted on June 19, 2017 at 3:45pm

Comment Wall (2 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 5:35pm on May 28, 2017, Billy Jo Colt said…

Hi Bethany, all might not be lost. Where were the files, pictures? It is possible to retrieve files depending on where the files are? what operating system you have and if your system has a virus? ?There are different actions for each, individual problem. Sadly I had been keeping a diary for nearly 4 years since my girlfriend died. My brand new computer crashed. The guy I got to look at it wiped the entire hard drive that I had transfered the file to. Somehow I had deleted the original file on the old laptop. I used an eraser program that did delete it forever. Looking back it happened for a reason. I had read a post on here where a member had found her husband had written some not nice things about their relationship that were unkind to say the least. I had done something similar and thought just how much it would affect my friends if they read my diary. I know how distraught you must feel. Again there are ways to retrieve those files. Depending on the situation. Even if the laptop is completely gone. The hard drive can be removed and put in what is called a hard drive caddy. They are very cheap to buy and once hooked up to another computer, the files can be accessed and transfered to another laptop or computer. Try not to be dismayed. There are some good options out there in the computer world. I would be more than happy to help with your problem.

At 3:03pm on May 10, 2017, Nora said…

Bethany, I know how it feels. I lost my mother in 1971 when I was 8 yo. So many years and I miss her every day. My life would be absolutely different if I have not lost her at that age. I always think how it would be is she was alive, with me. I grew a very lonely, depressed and unprotected child always looking for love, seeking love, working hard to deserve love. I will tell you something that it

I will tell you something that it doesn't sound right for you... I envy you. I envy millions of people who had a beautiful opportunity to have a mother for some years, for many years. I think you all are so fortunate. I think you are so lucky to have that chance to call your mother and say - Mom, I missed school bus - pick me up, Mom, I had a date, Mom, I think I want to marry this boy, Mom, I'm pregnant, Mom, my daughter looks just like you... I never had this chance. Ever. I remember her looks but I forgot her voice, I don't remember anything we did together and how she looked at me or touched me. I only remember 3 events: we had vacation on a beach wth her, lots of tulips for her birthday, and one trip to hospital when she asked me to go with her but I was all pissed and protesting walked very far behind her and I remember her walking slowly using walls to help herself to walk. That's it!

Since that time I know she is with me. She is always with me. Though nobody told me about heaven or spirits or life after death... Anytime I need her help, I ask her and things just go in right direction. I feel she is with me. ALWAYS!

Your mother never actually left you. Just ease your mind, open your heart and listen and open your eyes - you will see signs and meet good people.

I smiled to see where you are right now. It is my native country - I was born in St. Petersburg and live in Dallas, Texas now.

I am here if you need any support - just let me know - I have free calls to Russia.

Sending you lots of love and a huge warm hug.

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service