Since my mom died in May, I haven't been to church except maybe two weeks after she died and then the pain of her death was still so fresh (it still is, as it'll be 3 months since she died next Thursday), I couldn't stay for the whole service. I packed up my things and left. I felt completely alone, yet I did not want to be around anyone. I felt that if I stayed I would've just started bawling and wouldn't be able to stop.

Today, was the first time I've been to church in months and I'm actually glad I went. I didn't feel the need to leave early, so I think that's a good sign. Also the sermon was very good. The pastor preached on Matthew 6:25-33 where Jesus exhorts us not to worry. Since my mom died, my main worry has been "What is going to happen to me? How am I going to handle this loss? I have a good paying job, but I've worried about losing my job. I didn't seem to worry so much when mama was alive.

I just want to obey what Jesus said about not worrying. He's taken care of me up to this point of my life, I believe He will continue. I saw how well he took care of my mama while she alive with four kids to raise. My mom worked for 43 years at the same company before I suggested she retire. I didn't have to ask twice. I make more than five times what mama made when she was raising us and God never abandoned us. We always had food, we had a house to live in, we had clean clothes to wear, I went to college, etc.  I have to trust that He'll continue to take care of me while I'm here until He takes me home.