Todays my birthday, im 43 and alive , last month was Andys birthday , 43 also, except he's dead, and never got to celebrate his birthday,  and although I'm alive, I refuse to celebrate mine, I mean, what the hells to celebrate,  I told my family many weeks ago, not to get me a card, or even mention it, to their credit they respected my wishes, but a friend of mine I don't see to often called to see me earlier, she brought me a cake, and I know I should be grateful and I also know she ment…

I saw someone I knew today, she came over and hugged me and told me how sorry she was to hear about Andy, and she proceeded to have a proper conversation with me , which is so rare these days as most people I know seem to avoid me now, I think that don't know what to say to me , anyway I was thinking how lovely and kind she was , and then she uttered the words"but your only 42 you will meet someone else one day" for fucks sake, why do people always say this to me , it drives me mad , and…