Comment

Comment by Kathleen Jordan on April 30, 2017 at 7:25am

Fabulous!  Enjoy the small moments.  I still run my karaoke business, but it was so hard to  sing so many songs without choking up during them.  Now, I've found a way to pull strength from them. I wish I  could explain it, so that others could benefit, but one thing I have learned from this community is that we all manage in our own ways.  Grief is unique and how we handle it, individual.  I hope you find meaning in more small things.

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 30, 2017 at 6:57am

Well my friends, a strange thing has happened. This morning I was ranting to you all about not having a sign to say my Shirl is ok and still with me. We run or did run a dog training club together, we have done this since 1995, I am trying to carry on doing this as she loved it so much and always made me promise to keep it going. Today was a new puppy class, this is the hardest part as I always say hi I'm jackie and this is shirl, so horrible just saying jackie. Anyway today was a lovely spring morning,mans as I stood outside surrounded by 10 puppies and owners and Bisto my dog by my side, I large pure white feather floated down,really slowly and landed at my feet!! I just broke down of course which a bit embarrassing in front of strangers who knew nothing about me, but they were lovely about it. Just a small glimmer of light in this constant darkness x

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 30, 2017 at 2:31am

Oh and also can I just say that the worst thin I'm hearing over and over is that she is at peace now. She was at peace before she died, she was reading the paper saying what we were going to watch on TV that evening. She had just enjoyed tea and toast, she was planning what we were going todo the next day, what's so unpeaceful about that?

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 30, 2017 at 2:12am

I'm getting this all the time, iv been told I'm still young enough to meet someone else, wtf! Light at the end of the end of the tunnel, it will get better with time. Keep yourself busy and you won't notice it so much. No one has a clue that this total disabilitating agony is with me 25/7, time won't change it, my life will never be normal again. I try to think back to what inhale said to people in the past, I think I have only said I'm so sorry, which I think is ok. I was even told last thurs that 68 was a good age.

This is why I don't want to see anyone, I only lingo,where i have to, the rest of the time I stay in where I'm safe from people. Also I have been reading on here all you friends who have had signs from your loved ones to show there still with you, dreams of them. Why have I not had this, was our love not strong enough, I know I was the centre of shirls day, she told me every single day how much she loved me, so why can't she tell me now, I need to know that she is still loving me now

Comment by Tasha on April 29, 2017 at 11:10pm

People are just trying to help I believe. I can't stand when people want to know how they died. Why? I love them, I miss them, their route of departure isn't important. I have experienced much loss in my life, the most recently my child's father. His death comes with the stigma of addiction which trickles down to shame to the ones left behind .

Comment by silvia maria on April 17, 2017 at 7:56pm

I can relate. Most people around have no suitable words remotely. Its hard to interact and trust.

Comment by Jerry on April 11, 2017 at 8:07pm

Bravos to that Kathleen, seriously no one could begin to understand if they never had the reciprocal love and adoration for another person, and then have them snatched away. I have said, oh uh kinda like you had but much worse than you can imagine. Doesn't matter though it still, hurts and I am mad I wasted my time on "that" and "them", again. Hugs to all here. A year ago today I was just getting home from Cabo with my sweetheart wife, an everlasting memory now, forever Love and, missing her every second of the day.

Comment by Kathleen Jordan on April 11, 2017 at 7:33pm

I had someone come up to me this weekend and say "I understand" and I felt ballsy enough to say, "who did you  lose?" and they said no-oneto which I replied...Then you  DON'T understand, and you won't until you do.    It shocked them,  but I think it mattered, there seemed to be a recognition in their eyes.  I'mgetting to  a point where I don't care if their little feelings are hurt, my life has been turned upside   down  and my feelings will never be the same.

Comment by morgan on March 31, 2017 at 1:16am

After your first sentence I was ready to punch your so called friend.  No one gets it Joanne.  This grief is a miserable GD place to have to exist.  After four years I am so tired of life, the people who think I should be a happy camper and pretending that I can do more than simply function to pay bills.  I am so over this.  What happened to my life?  What universe is this?  Where is he?  Why has he not let me know he is somewhere waiting for me?  Have I gotten what I think might be some signs?  Yes, but it is not enough.  I want to be embraced by his arms and sink into his chest and forget this crappy world.  Why cant I have that? Why I am being punished to live this crappy existence?  Someone please tell me why because after this long of putting up with this intolerable pain of being only a half a person on this small speck of dirt in the humongous universe I want off.  I so desperately want this to end and I cant figure out a way to make it happen.  

Comment by rachel_micele on March 30, 2017 at 9:29pm

Exactly Joanne. People have no fucking clue what this feels like. I can't stand "normal" talk let alone to listen to the stupidest and most petty things people want to bitch about.