Todays my birthday, im 43 and alive , last month was Andys birthday , 43 also, except he's dead, and never got to celebrate his birthday,  and although I'm alive, I refuse to celebrate mine, I mean, what the hells to celebrate,  I told my family many weeks ago, not to get me a card, or even mention it, to their credit they respected my wishes, but a friend of mine I don't see to often called to see me earlier, she brought me a cake, and I know I should be grateful and I also know she ment well, but I can't eat it, any other cake im will happily demolish,  but not this cake, I know it sounds utter ridiculous but I look at the cake and it makes me sad, it represents me getting older and without the man I love, I feel hatred towards that cake, so after I've written this, that cake is going in the bin smashed into pieces like my heart.Fuck you birthdays and fuck you cake.