today I went to see you twice, I need that, I know in my heart you knew I was there. when summer comes I hope to sit with you awhile, theres so much I want and need to say. I love you with all y heart shawn and I pray everynight to be with you, I hope its soon. without you I have no reason to go on.  I love and miss you shawn always and forever  mom

I can truly feel my heart hurting, I miss my son so much and the pain gets worse. the tears still flow everyday and night. the emptiness still there, so lonely, so dark. I pray to go with him, I beg him to come get me. my heart cant take much more. my son, the love of my life forever, I miss you shawn, I love you   mom

for 2 days now I cant smell my son, I sleep in his pjs , I need that smell , I need to know hes with me, please shawn bring the smell back to me, dear god  I need it bad, love you always and forever   mom

everyday I ask myself, what is there to live for? theres nothing to look forward to, nothing to smile about, laugh about. I wonder why im here. without my son shawn theres nothing left. this pain gets deeper and deeper, my tears still flow everyday. I love him more than life and I should have gone before him, I want to go so bad, I pray to go. but im still here in hell with nothing but unbearable pain to live with. why wont he come get me? why wont he come to me? why wont he answer me?  no…

happy birthday to my beautiful son shawn, I pray you are having a wonderfull day with grandma. I miss you so very much shawn, I know ill be with you soon, I love you always and forever  mom