It's been two and a half months since Ariel killed herself.  Sometimes it still feels very unreal, like it's somehow not what it should be.  It's hard to FEEL like it's real, even though I intellectually know I haven't seen her in that long and that a lot of her stuff is gone and I've got a copy of the M.E.'s report on the examination of her body and her ashes are on a shelf in my office.  It just is hard to consistently get and stay next to.  I don't know how much of that is from how much…