After the collapse almost a week ago, I'm finding I'm now dealing with a lot of anxiety just about being able to manage the basic details of life.  I'd thought I was doing OK at that before....and look what happened. Now the fear is that I can't even manage my own life, much less finishing the mess that my wife left me by killing herself.  It's not as bad today as it was last night, which was almost crippling.  I meet with my counselor tomorrow and plan to bring it up.  I'm really hoping…

In the last few days I've gotten to learn just how badly all this has depelted me.  ABout 10 days ago, I came down with a cold.  No surprise, given the stress of my wife's suicide.  I was semi-functional on the weekend, but then ended up home Monday and Tuesday from work.  I thought I was doing better Wednesday and managed 8 hours at work, but Thursday I was only there half the day before I had to go early.  I went to the local urgent care place, where the doc told me the coughing was likely…

Shortly before we got together, my wife gave birth to her daughter, and then put her up for adoption.  She'd known she didn't have it in her to be a good single parent and staying with the father....wasn't an option.  Every year since, around this time, she'd gotten a card from the adoptive parents with pictures of her daughter and an update on how she was doing.  In the last few years, one of the cards said that her daughter was starting to get curious about her birth mother.  As far as I…