Its been 11 weeks now although it still feels like yesterday I miss him so much, i carnt stand it ,this is so bloody hard. Ive just got home after going out for dinner with the kids, just trying to make life a little normal again I suppose, but looking around seeing both parents out with their children and it being just me and my kids without their father was so difficult , its not bloody fair, im so mad that my two have been robbed of their dad, it makes me so f***ing angry, the people on…

Ok its been nearly 9 weeks now since Andy died , and ive been desperate to dream of him like I did 4 days after he died , in that dream we were just sitting on swings swinging for what seemed like hours but we didn't speak once and when I woke up I felt strange and unsettled, such a weird feeling, weird enough for me to think it was real and not a dream at all , anyway since then nothing , before andy died I dreamt every night I even dreamt he died 2 days before he had his cardic arrest and…

So today its been 7 weeks since my wonderful andrew died , is it getting easier, definitely not its getting harder day by day .Anyway one of my friends left work on friday to start a new job, even though im still off work she asked me along for drinks with all the other friends we work with , To be honest I didn't really want to go , but one of my freinds thought it might do me some good so after much debating I said I would go , what a mistake I made it was awful as we sat in the pub I felt…