Ok its been nearly 9 weeks now since Andy died , and ive been desperate to dream of him like I did 4 days after he died , in that dream we were just sitting on swings swinging for what seemed like hours but we didn't speak once and when I woke up I felt strange and unsettled, such a weird feeling, weird enough for me to think it was real and not a dream at all , anyway since then nothing , before andy died I dreamt every night I even dreamt he died 2 days before he had his cardic arrest and I remember saying to him the following morning that I was worried about him and he told me not to be silly it was just a dream , but now im thinking was it , I always remembered most of what I had dreamt but like I said ive dreamt nothing , until last night that is ,I was in like a queue of some kind and I looked over to the opposite queue and I could see a blonde man looking and smiling at me , I didnt no who this man was but then I saw Andy standing infront off him , i could only see the back off him but i instantly knew it was him, I remember shouting  his name really loud over and over but he didnt respond , but the blonde man was still smiling at me , anyway somehow I stretched my hand out to tap him on his shoulder , he turned around it was so bizarre he was not wearing his glasses and he looked younger like when we first met , he looked up at me and smiled then he walked away with the blonde man with him, I woke up and I felt like I couldn't breathe and felt so upset that once again he didn't speak to me , now I've never really been one to believe in a after life or any of that , even though now Andy has passed I really want to, but I no this sounds crazy and I can't explain it but I truly beleive he came to me in my dream and I feel that the blonde man was his guide or  someone looking after him he definitely seemed to be with Andy, I don't know how to feel about this because im usually such a rational person , but this definitely wasn't just a dream , I know it wasn't or was it and im just going crazy, I wished I knew , im hoping so much to see him tonight , i want him to speak to me even if its one word, when I finally get to sleep that is , sleeping so difficult at the moment im trying not to take the sleeping pills my docter gave me has I have to get up early and take my daughter school , so im only managing a couple of hours sleep if that , but I hope thats enough for Andy to come to me again tonight , fingers crossed xxxx