I'm not usually a judgemental person, but I was reading a magazine today and one of the articles was about a lady who's husband had died 9months ago and she was talking about how she had met a new man and was ready to be in love again, and how her husband would want her to be happy again, I know Andy would want me to be happy again(never gonna happen)  but i can just not understand that , it just doesn't make any sense to me,in fact it makes me think she must be a horrid person, I know I…

I'm mad as hell right now, I've just read on here about anothers person loss and it's heartbreaking. Every night before I go bed I speak to Andy not because I believe he's here and can hear me because truthful I don't, it's just something I do , anyway tonight I more than ever hope I'm wrong and that he can hear me because I will be telling him if there is a so called god,please tell him that I think he's a fucking wanker for taking yet another daddy away from a small child like I've just…

Ok even though I said I wouldn't go out socially again, as it felt so wrong last time, i gave it another chance and went to my good friends 40th party, her being a good friend and the fact that my daughter wanted to go I found myself thinking why the hell not, my lifes over anyway and new years eve and day were just the most horrific days for me even worse than xmas day , I spent the whole 2 days in floods of tears so I knew going to the party couldn't be really worse, but I still haven't…