I was with my friends last night.  And usually, when I am with friends, I am able to push my grief down deep inside and hide it.  But for some reason, maybe because I am feeling tired and suffering from "burn out", my grief decided to make an appearance in front of everyone. And there it was:  the big white elephant in the room. My eyes suddenly became like water faucets. Tears were streaming down my face faster than I could dab them away with a small square of tissue. And then, of course,…

 It's Monday, and I hate Mondays--for two reasons now:  starting over another week, and my beautiful, funny, loving Mom passed away on a Monday. I was thinking, this evening, how much my life has changed since she died.  I used to put in a days work and then go spend the evenings over at Mom's. My husband was healthy then, and often worked till late in the evening, so I spent time with Mom, Dad, and my son at her house. We ate together, then she made us watch  "Wheel of Fortune " with her.…

I refilled my prescription for my antidepressant yesterday and swallowed that bitter little pill before bed last night. Apparently, I must have needed it, for it knocked me out till 10:30 this a.m. I scrambled to get dressed for work, then spent half an hour trying to "mend my face"--cover the deep dark circles under my eyes with half a tube of concealer stick,  draw my eyebrows on in such a way that I won't look like Joan Crawford or someone who just spotted a large rat running across the…

I wish I didn't have so much responsibility resting on my shoulders while I am grieving. My husband is ill and can't work, so alot is on me and I feel too sad alot of days to even get up and trudge off to work, but I have no choice. Its sink or swim! I'd be grateful for a three day weekend once in a while. I'm so tired.