Comment

Comment by bluebird on November 23, 2015 at 2:19pm

Same here. When my husband died I lost weight, maybe 30 lbs or so, weight that I did need to lose. When people would comment on it, my reaction was "So what? I don't give a damn what I look like".  Now I have gained it all back and much more, so that I am about 70 lbs overweight, and I feel exactly the same about it -- so what? It doesn't matter, except for the fact that being overweight might help me die faster, so in that respect I'm glad. Plus my hair has gone greyer, my skin is dull, my eyes are lifeless, I never smile.

I look like hell, because I feel like hell, because I am in hell.

Comment by Sammie on November 23, 2015 at 12:58pm

Oh Tidy I get that all the time too I don't care what people are telling me, You look tired, you have to eat you are so skinny , I always tell them I don't give a s.. How I look . Some people are saying it's good that you cry it's not good to keep inside you .. So now I try to keep all that pain inside me if that's bad whatever it's bad I try so I end this pain but so far nothing works ..so there we go another day lets see how it goes

Comment by Tildyc on November 23, 2015 at 11:20am

I hate when I cry all night. I look so horrible and puffy. And everyone just kinda stares and some think its important to let me know exactly how bad I look. Like I don't already know. "You look tired today" That's the understatement of the frickin year. I feel ugly and broken. I just want to crawl into the deepest darkest hole and stay there. I don't want to be seen and I don't want this stupid life.

Comment by Hilary Christene on November 22, 2015 at 6:23pm

The "what are you holiday plans?" has started.

Comment by Tildyc on November 19, 2015 at 12:44pm

Yes- I even knew a couple here in my little town who died within a yrs time. They were in their mid to late 60s. They where together since high school. The surviving spouse-the wife- died of an unexpected heart attack within a year. She was healthy but very sad.

So- it should be my turn soon. Please let it be me next.

Comment by bluebird on November 19, 2015 at 6:05am

Sammie,
I have heard of and read about that as well, and I don't understand why it didn't happen to me. I truly wish it had. I am pissed off that it didn't.

Comment by Sammie on November 18, 2015 at 10:27pm

I was reading a story about the parents of a former NFL player they died of heart attacks within an hour of each other It is a real condition called "Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy" or broken heart syndrome. It most frequently occurs after losing a loved one. So I'm asking myself what I'm doing wrong I wish my heart will break idk why I'm not that lucky ..

Comment by George H on November 18, 2015 at 5:58am

Yesterday was 38 weeks that Mary's been gone my life just total shit I can't seem to do anything anymore I don't care about anything anymore I thought it would get a little better but obviously that's not going to happen I don't know how to survive the loneliness but I'm still here doing what I can

Comment by rachel_micele on November 17, 2015 at 11:17pm

Ms. Morgan. How I hear your pain. Your post screams of it. Two years and nine months ... I'm so sorry. I can't imagine to be in this hell that long. As my last blog mentioned it's only been 8 months. I feel like this has become my entire life yet I'm so damn baffled it's only been 8 months. I don't understand what is happening to me.

I have been so grateful for your words. I'm grateful for every person here. As you list off the names from the top of your head, I'm familiar with nearly every one of them. Made me realize just how much I lean on this website for any ounce of strength in this hell.

Spring classes will be rearing up shortly and I'm starting to feel as I felt in August. Life is trying to pull me ahead. I can't go. I can't move. So I'm dragged mercilessly, grudgingly, and lifelessly. The end of this year was the time I foresaw moving out of my apartment and into mine and Gary's home, if not before. That was the point we were going to finally, really be together and start our list of somedays. I was so ready and eager. I feel so few people can truly understand this spin of my loss. And now I spit on life. I curse life. I struggle to even care. I wish I could inflict to it, like a serial killer (I feel morbid saying that), the torment and pain it has put on me.

Comment by nicole irving on November 17, 2015 at 5:17pm

6mths today since my world turned upside down, 6mths since i lost my best friend and soul mate, feeling physically and emotionally sick, my life will never be the same, i will never be the same

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 204
• 205
• 206
• 207
• 208
• …
• 340
• Next ›
• Page