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Comment by Annette Dominguez on October 3, 2011 at 1:21pm

It has been 9 months since my husband passed. I miss him everyday. I cry almost everyday. I don't know what to do somedays but just sob. My kids are away at college so that is tough too. If I didn't have God in my life I don't know what I would do. I do wonder how long it is going to take to get through this grief. My house is so empty and I am so lonely. Please, anyone, just pray for me that this horrible emptiness will pass and I will feel hope again.

Thanks,

Annette

Comment by christianlee on September 24, 2011 at 4:11am

Leslie ...I am so sorry about your family. I see mine separating since Dad died. Silly talks about this and that...it seems instead of a unit getting stronger when a loved one dies...it goes in the opposite direction. All parts equal a whole...when a part separates it affects the whole family individually.

Comment by Leslie on September 23, 2011 at 10:13pm

Panni, you asked about family problems?  My are just wonderful! hint the sarcasm?  My sister still refuses to deep down talk about anything.  She went into organizational mode the day after it happened.  then my parents were marriend for 41 years, met on a blind date at the naval academy, got marriend on the day my dad graduated.  well my dad started online dating 4 months after she died.  he can have a companion but he has been full on dating and doesnt understand how i am hurt by it.

Comment by Leslie on September 23, 2011 at 10:09pm

All of you are so strong to even get the words outs and I see the strength you will carry on.  And most of you have had death within the past year.What I can say about coping-It never goes away, the situations you are in, in daily life, become easier to deal with.  You learn how to avoid certain things so you do not break down and cry. 

My mother has been gone since May 2010 from a brain anerysm and I UNfortunately watched her take her last breath.    I have the lasting images in my mind all the time.  the last 2 days of her life, living helpless in the hospital. 

Comment by christianlee on September 23, 2011 at 7:39pm

Well said....but I still don't understand how it all happens for a reason? My boys still needed a grandfather as a role model. And I'm 38....but still needed a Dad. He was the rock of the family. God has all the answers...I just wonder why.

Comment by MIchael A Ballard on September 23, 2011 at 4:03pm

My two brothers, their wives, and my Dad could give a crap how my little boy and me are doing!  It all comes down to us anyway.  Having support from family is great, but when you stop and think about it, in the long run, all we have is ourselves.

I want to make the most of my life and be there always for my son, while being aware that we're all just visitors in this world.  I read the following somewhere.....

 Be as kind as you can, be as good as you can, practice forgiveness, help those who you can, be as humble as you can, remember we are all here for a reason....and trust the universe to take care of the rest..........if we would all practice this....imagine what the world would be like.........

Happy wishes to you,

MIchael

 

 

 

Comment by Jim Eginoire on September 22, 2011 at 3:31pm

I shared this immediately as I knew she had turned to her sisters about it. It has not been a secret since then, it's the memories and I have remained in contact with the other woman and we have supported each other over the past year. 

I will be at a mens retreat this weekend with my church and about 500 other men from the upper midwest so I am counting on some spiritual strength.

Thank you and God bless

Comment by anna l. on September 22, 2011 at 2:53pm

I am truly sorry this anniversary is like this for you, but anniversaries are hard.  Yours just seems more so because of all that happened. It's good you are talking about it and I hope you have in-person friends you can count on to help you through the week ahead.

Comment by Jim Eginoire on September 22, 2011 at 2:26pm

I reconnected with a woman from my childhood a year ago on September 3rd.  I had no idea why, but we started exchanging emails and it was like the 42 years had never passed.  I became emotionally involved in that she and my wife had experienced almost identical paths in life only for me I was communicating with a 12 year old girl not a 54 your old woman so I had great empathy for her.  I had not shared this reconnection with my wife and that puzzled me as I had no reason to not tell her.  We didn't talk about anything but our families and our experiences since we were kids. 

A year ago today I felt guilty about it and knew I could not continue communicating even though there was nothing to hide or be ashamed of.  I kept a secret from my wife and that was wrong.  On September 22 last year I told my friend I could no longer exchange emails because it was a betrayal of trust.  She said she had told her husband and asked me to tell my wife as she wanted to maintain the connection.  I was unable to tell my wife until Saturday the 25th.  She was hurt and mad.  On Sunday the 26th we told each other how much we meant to each other and how we were the loves of our life's.  She emailed my friend and told her no more emails and that was it.  She died around 9:30 that night from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs.  Today I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog Day because I keep reliving this month day by day from last year with the horror of Monday on the horizon.  Even though it will be a year, this is still a living hell. 

Comment by MIchael A Ballard on September 22, 2011 at 1:34pm

You're doing great Panni, we all have something in us and their help around us that pulls us through all of this. You will find comfort and some peace soon!  

We're all here for you,

Michael

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