Barbara,

I just want to give you a hug.  My husband and I have just celebrated our 42nd anniversary and the history we share goes back to when we decided to get married at 5 years old.  It is obvious that you had a good man and I  am sorry that you lost him.  You had history and I find as I loose family and friends, it is the lack of history or feeling of conection that hurts me most.  Even at church, as I get older and our congregation losses those who have been faithful since we were children as pillars in the congregation, the void that is left behind seems so sad.  I am not ready to be the strong one. . .  When Dad passed away and as the months have passed, I miss his wisdom and his heart.  Please be assured of my love and that I will keep you in my prayers.

Brenda

support@grief-and-comfort.com

mawmaw1591@gmail.com

barbara your not alone i cant read either and i miss it....but i love the computer, i listen to music, exercise a little...you will be fine sweetheart....concentrating is hard....ive had a lot of people bugging me, that doesnt help

Brenda, you left a comment for me when my computer was not working. It touched me deeply and I want to thank you from all of my heart. I have missed being here and I went through some terrible times where I longed for people to reach out to. I could not leave the house on those days... the site would have helped me. Something helped me get though. But I am glad to be back. When I read your comment today, I was deeply touched. Christine

Barbara, thank you for beiing my sanity check.

Saturday evening we had a small memorial/celebration of his life. I carried myself with the composure and dignity of Jackie Kennedy. When I came home to the empty house, I automatically wanted to tell him about who was there, their comments, the wonderful food, etc. It smacked me in the head when I (once again) realized that he wasn't there, and wasn't coming back. Perhaps I am still in denial, and wonder when and where it will finally really hit me.

Today, I find myself ready to bawl, like I did the first week. Don't know what, if anything, prompted these strong emotions. It seems like the world is moving in slow motion. It feels like it was months ago, but has been only three weeks yesterday. I continually ask "Why is everything taking so long with the attorney?  What do I do next? Where will I be a month from now?"  I have always needed a plan, to be prepared as much as possible for even my immedient future, so it causes a lot of anxiety being in limbo.

Going to pick up his business taxes which are due tomorrow.

m