Dear Lynn, you seem such a positive person until you suffered the loss of your husband had you aways had an upbeat view on life?  Mark  and I complimented each other if had such a great sense of humour and imagination whereas I am more serious and bookish.  I miss him so much, I keep thinking back to Christmas I had no idea of what was ahead for me.  My brother came from London and helped me sort his things out, as long as his toothbrush etc where in the bathroom I kept expecting him back.  You think you have accepted eventually that they are physical gone but just for an instance I sometimes forget especially if I have had some vivid dream.  At this point in time I cannot see a future without him it just seems so bleak I feel for everyone going through their losses of loved ones.  When I lost my mum 4 years ago I never for one moment thought I would have to go through all this grief again.

Mark use to buy me ornaments of fairies and angels so your photographs are very apt.

My warmest wishes.

Dear Lynn, you seem such a positive person until you suffered the loss of your husband had you aways had an upbeat view on life?  Mark  and I complimented each other if had such a great sense of humour and imagination whereas I am more serious and bookish.  I miss him so much, I keep thinking back to Christmas I had no idea of what was ahead for me.  My brother came from London and helped me sort his things out, as long as his toothbrush etc where in the bathroom I kept expecting him back.  You think you have accepted eventually that they are physical gone but just for an instance I sometimes forget especially if I have had some vivid dream.  At this point in time I cannot see a future without him it just seems so bleak I feel for everyone going through their losses of loved ones.  When I lost my mum 4 years ago I never for one moment thought I would have to go through all this grief again.

Mark use to buy me ornaments of fairies and angels so your photographs are very apt.

My warmest wishes.

Dear Lynn

I Iove the photographs you have posted you look so happy with your husband. At the moment I can not bring myself to look at any of Mark's I seem to deliberately try not to bring his face to mind to avoid another way of getting upset.  At this moment  I cannot image how you have managed to go on and be so supportive of myself and others on this site.  Lately I feel I am feeling just as bad as I did back in January.  Feeling so alone is just a bad place to be.

My warmest wishes to you.

It was very kind to respond.  I expect you know and appreciate how alone and lonely I feel.  I just feel there is no  point to anything any more and I drag myself out of bed each day to look after my cats, one is quite elderly, 18 years old, the other on about 12 years she was a stray  so not quite sure.

I have been going to bereavement councelling but all she kept saying last week was ' grief takes as long as it takes' which I felt very unhelpful.  I do not seem to be making any progress.  I have spent the weekend mostly in tears and the pain nearly breaks me in two.

It is only 4 years in July since I lost my mum and I was only coming to terms with that last year.  My dad passes exactly 21 years ago today.  It is so heart breaking not having Mark here to share all this with.

My most kindest thoughts to you and my admiration for your perseverence.