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Comment by Lisa S. on February 7, 2012 at 12:28pm

I am so sorry to hear of everyones pain.It is so hard to go on.I have worked and been indipendant my whole life.after the loss of my sister,I continued working,but found it impossible.crying at the drop of a hat at work,red eyed and unable to function,I quit.I was so gratefull that my fiance peter was there for me.After his murder I bacame comepletely destitute.I feel selfish even talking about it(after all i am still alive),he was completely supporting me.buying food/my medicine/basic needs.I had to move into a garrage next to the abandoned house where my sis was killed,on the property that belongs to my abusive grandfather.my dad pays electric/internet,but now I dont have a bathroom/kitchen,and get my water from a hose.my health is in decline without my medicine and I have lost 40 lbs for lack of food.I was just wondering if anyone else has faced destitution after sudden loss,and what possible way there is to pull out of this spiral,if any,when u have no one..again,I feel so selfish for thinking of my own needs:(

Comment by christianlee on February 7, 2012 at 2:54am

I'm sorry ur feeling so alone. At times it seems no one understands the grief we bear. Hugs to all of you

Comment by anna l. on February 6, 2012 at 10:21pm

Panni Anna, Im sorry you are feeling so alone.  I feel it too.  I had my 2 youngest grandsons here for a sleepover Saturday night and it was wonderful but not the same as it used to be.  A year ago I would have woken up to the smell of fresh brewed coffee with a hint of bacon too as the kids Papa cooked breakfast.  I know the loneliness and I know the hopelessness that it will never be the same again.  Sure wish someone had the answer to how do we go on from here.  I know I dont.  Hugs new friend, hoping for happier days ahead for us all.

 

 

 

Comment by mercy on February 6, 2012 at 3:32pm

Brandon, I’m so sorry for your loss. My 43 year old brother died like that too.  It’s so hard to accept the fact that he’s gone. Young people are supposed to be healthy and outlive their parents. The pain is unbearable on some days. He left us in June 2010 and it still feels like yesterday. I know your pain and I’m so sorry. God grant you some kind of peace.

Comment by Brandon R on February 6, 2012 at 12:59pm

I went to meet Emily at the hospital after she suffered a minor seizure on December 12, 2011.  She was alert when I got there, but within several hours, her condition worsened.  She became unresponsive with almost cerebral palsy-like symptoms.   She never came back.  The blood clot that lodged itself into the pons of her brain took her ability to talk, move, function, although she still could think,  The hospital did NOT do an MRI, the thing that could have saved her life until 27 hours after she arrived.  She died on December 19.  I loved her so much.  I miss her.  I cry everyday.  I struggle.   I wish she were here with me now. Ugh!

Comment by Dick on February 5, 2012 at 9:30am

I am sad today, we are leaving  San Diego and your brother today. We miss you so much. I wish you did not have to leave us. Love Dad.

Comment by Robin Jone on February 4, 2012 at 10:15pm

TNorman, I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine someone I love being murdered, how horrible that must be. I did lose my brother in accident 18 years ago, and my mother died from a heart attack when I was 8, and my father died from bladder cancer when I was 18. On September 3, my son Zach, died in a tragic accident and I felt my world turned upside down again. I can relate to how much you are hurting, and I am so very sorry. I don't wish this kind of pain on anyone. I really think the only thing that has kept me going is that there have been so many people who have prayed for me and my family. I have a friend whose only son was murdered 9 years ago, and she told me she had to make a decision of whether to give up on life or to be a survivor. She decided to be a survivor and has been such an inspiration to me and many others. I  pray that we will all chose to be survivors and try to help each other through this. You and all who have lost have we have are in my prayers. Hugs. Robin

Comment by mercy on February 2, 2012 at 12:23pm

TNorman am so sorry that you have to live through this horrible nightmare. It’s very hard for me to find the right words of comfort for you but I can tell you everyone here is very understanding and will be there to listen. This is by far the most difficult time since it just happened with time, it gets just a little easier and you can get through the day without feeling like you want to end it all. I lost my favorite brother in June 2010 and before I could process it, my sweet mom died a year later. It’s been very hard and I do get through the day somehow, most of the time it feels like a horrible nightmare. My prayers are with you.

Comment by christianlee on February 2, 2012 at 8:59am

So sorry Norman ....prayers to you. Marlene so sorry. Lost my dad 6 months ago. It seems my grieving heart is worse now. The pain is there and not going away.

Comment by Wendy on February 2, 2012 at 2:35am

TNorman, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm remembering you in my prayers and hope that God will grant you the strength to get through this. We're always here for you if ever you want to talk.

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