CindyA
  • Female
  • Canfield, OH
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm a 43 yr old mother of a 17 yr old son. I am a counselor by trade but not ready to engage in that process myself so I decided to join a group for support from people that know what loss is
About my Loss:
I lost my husband of 19 years to a sudden heart attack he was 49. He kissed me & went to work one night & I was awoken by the police at 3AM & my life was changed irrevocably

CindyA's Blog

Things you realize

As I went through paperwork today I find it amazing that our whole life fits in a box.our births .our marriage the birth of our son a lifetime of memories all neatly plaCed in a box .. I cried while I went through those papers as memories flooded my mind memories of happiness and sadness .. Our life ..now I need to start a new box for our new life as I systematically remove u from it all and with each thing I do the hole in my soul gets bigger and bigger ..I don't want a new box with new things… Continue

Posted on June 14, 2016 at 9:47pm

Where is my peace

I don't understand.. I want to find peace from all this sorrow. Everyone says how strong I am but do I really have a choice?? I miss my husband my mother my grandparents and brother all gone but yet somehow I remain here. I think to myself everyday why .. Why am I here .. Am I meant to suffer like this forever .. There are holes in my soul for every love that I have lost and now my husband .. My protector the one person that I never thought I would lose . I really thought I'd die before him ..… Continue

Posted on June 13, 2016 at 9:54pm — 1 Comment

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At 10:05am on June 14, 2016, kathy kwasnica said…

I am so sorry Cindy. I lost my fiancee on May 19th. We were together for about a year. 

I found him in our apartment. I was told it was a heart attack. We had just moved in and he was complaining of pains near his chest. I equated it to the move.

I am so wracked with guilt. 

I was just me and him. 

Like you my guy was my rock. And now he is gone. Everyone says it takes time. It has only been a month for me but some days I feel like why did he go and not me.

I have RA and have lost other people. I deserve to go more than he did.

I guess I am just commiserating.

I am SO sorry 

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

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