I don't understand.. I want to find peace from all this sorrow. Everyone says how strong I am but do I really have a choice?? I miss my husband my mother my grandparents and brother all gone but yet somehow I remain here. I think to myself everyday why .. Why am I here .. Am I meant to suffer like this forever .. There are holes in my soul for every love that I have lost and now my husband .. My protector the one person that I never thought I would lose . I really thought I'd die before him .. The suddenness of his loss has brought me to my knees but I have to keep going not for me but for my son ..the only reason I'm still here on this earth..I want answers but I know I will never get them so i must find peace somewhere if only I could find it