Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by dawn larvan on September 30, 2014 at 12:53pm

Bernice all the things you have said are so true my husband was a biker,kayaker. And I used worry so much when he was out. And yet the unthinkable happened he had had a heart attack and died instantly 4 months ago in frontof me while on holiday relaxing so I feel so stupid worying all those years about what could happen bless you xxxx

Permalink Reply by bernice on September 30, 2014 at 1:06pm

Yes, my husband worked in all the dangerous places, had armed guards accompanying him.. that's when I was worried. He was a terrific rider, never thought he would go that way.. ironic. Everyone says he went enjoying himself... as if that's supposed to help.. he wasn't even supposed to be here.. should have been on a flight the previous day. xx

Permalink Reply by Lynn Boyd on October 2, 2014 at 1:15pm

Bernice, your loss was devastating, and I lost my beloved husband suddenly 3 weeks after we celebrated our 25th anniversary, so I know the pain you must be going through. I felt exactly the same way, completely devastated, in horrible pain, losing not only my husband but also my own identity. The details of your loss are horrendous, and my heart goes out to you.  I have been attending Bereavement Support Groups and classes, and they have helped me tremendously.  First off, always remember that you will NEVER "get over" your loss, but you CAN get Through it.  May I suggest a book called "Widow to Widow" by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg, it has helped me immensely.  You can by an inexpensive used copy on Amazon or maybe find it at your local library.  It addresses many of the feelings you are having now, and steps you can take to make you feel a little better.   We can't change the past, we can't bring them back....even now I still expect him to come home from work and say "Hi Baby!", I still have his clothes and his beloved golf bag.   Try to go forward, honor his memory as best you can, and go on LIVING. Life is worth it, and I'm sure he would want you to be happy and enjoy it.  I still have the "grief bursts" when I cry and scream so much the pain washes over me completely, draining me of all my energy. But after a good cry I do feel better.  Cry as much as you can, you can even scream and curse the God of your understanding. But even that screaming is a type of prayer, God DOES understand your pain, and I pray God will bring you peace. 

Namaste,

Lynn