My interest in life is to study the Human Connection.

But that is neither here nor there at the moment.

I have been rather reflective, more so than before. If I want to know love then I have to accept love. It is that simple. I can not be closed off or I will miss out on my chance to know love.

I am sad that I am different from the rest of the grandchildren. I am the only one without any parents, yes, but not having them does not stop me from accomplishing my goals.

I could cry and lose control. I could be self-destructive but where will that get me. Yes, I will go through my phases. There will be days when I'm extremely sad (mostly around that time of the month more so than any other time) but I will come out of feeling so low eventually.

I realized that not having parents does not have to define me. If I always think in the past, then past pain is all I will receive. If I don't allow myself to be happy then I am only to blame for the outcome of my life.

There was a part of me that use to be afraid to be happy. I thought, "my mother is not here. She is somewhere else and sad, so I should be sad with her" But, the reality is at least she isn't suffering anymore.

And the fact that she is no longer suffer, despite how much I miss her is something to be happy about.

If I can stay positive, then I can help others who or support others who have a similar experience or have a recently experienced parental lost.