At this point and time I thank the lord for making me into a strong women. I am a private mourner. I have the strength to walk away from arguments. Losing two sons so close together. has been a living hell. I am on some really strong meds to help me cope with it all. My heart is shattered, I refuse to let other people get to me i don't explain my meds either. So they think I am a bipolar bitch thats fine, my finances too. i am refusing to raise my voice and have a screaming match over thing that are nobodys business.  I have been accused of alot of things that r not right. they want to push buttons. that hasn't worked either. I am thankful to be away. I am thankful to have found a new place. I just want to be left alone.  i am consumed with greif. crying rivers of tears. Miss my boys. the 22nd is the third anniversay of my oldest sons passing. I beleive there is a god. I beleive both my boys are with god. but here on earth i am heart broken to lose them.  I pray every day that no other person to go through this.