Roller Coaster Ride?

I am having such a hard time with my husband's loss. Some days I am just fine, feel pretty normal, and then other days I cannot function at all and just want to cry. I have yet to make it a full week at work, I get up some mornings and I am just overwhelmed with grief. I try to push through it, some days I can, but some days (like today) my heart is too heavy and I stay home and cry. When will I be able to function normally again? I have never been an emotional person and this sadness is so new to me. The Dr. has me on depression and anxiety meds as well as sleep meds. I take the depression meds every day and only take the anxiety meds and sleep meds when I need to. I just feel so lost on what is "normal" and so tired of explaining to people (clients) why I haven't been calling them and checking on them like I have in the past. It is so hard to stay professional when explaining this.

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Comment by Sandy Christian on February 16, 2012 at 5:06pm

I know exactly what you mean. I called in to work one day to say I wouldn't be in because I just couldn't function. My boss just didn't get it and was very upset with me. Just know you are not alone in this roller coaster. Some days are ok and some aren't. Losing my husband is like losing a part of my soul. Everyone keeps saying I'll be ok but it's hard to see how sometimes. Keep posting, sometimes it helps to just put the feelings out there.

Comment by Lisa S. on February 16, 2012 at 12:29pm

I know what u mean.After working my whole life it's strange to suddenly not be able to function.I tried to continue working after my sis died,but it was so hard.Any time I would see someone that would remind me of my sis I would have a total breakdown.I finnaly quit because I was always red eyed from crying.I tried to do my best giving good costomer servise.one time I smiled at a customer(and it was genuine),but he got in my face and asked me harshly what was wrong with me. I said"what?I smiled at you.".and he said "yeah...a FAKE smile."he was so rude and mean.I just couldnt deal with the public anymore.unless someone has gone through a loss,they just dont understand.

Comment by MSB on February 15, 2012 at 3:47pm

I keep wondering the same thing. It is an awful ride and it is interesting to know we all seem to go through it. I guess on the awful days, we just have to hang on and know there will be better one's ahead of us.

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